my two front teeth

2005-08-03T05:02:00.000-07:00

this really is a much funner and invasive way of tagging people's blog.
waha. guess who?
mouth chen. go figure. haha.
i'm upset and irritated but this is your blog not mine. love ya!!
theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-02-09T01:42:00.000-08:00

How much have you collected?
I have collected a lot. lets count.
10 litres of Pain, a thousand packets of Misery, a few hundred boxes of Hurt and a small teaspoon of Comfort.
You listen up. I will, from now on, pick myself up. Learn from what happened and go on. Now that i know, and have learnt of almost everything, now that we've talked about it and loosened things, i will stop here and look around me, say yes to the one who'd been constantly caring. I will accept, but i cannot let go. Turn away and wait for better things to come. I will. Even though i constantly dream of the things that would never come, i wouldn't ever miss. Because you say that even if we were to turn back time, you'd do the same. You may never understand what you're doing to me, but i will forgive, though not forget. You will never know how you changed my world. And for the last time, i love you.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-02-07T01:50:00.000-08:00

i collasped.

Bad hair day. i had my haircut yesterday and it turned out outrageous. Its too loud. Without my hairband, i look boyish because its short. The people will start yakking again.

School is rather straineous these days, with my emotions running high and low, fluctuating as and when it fancies. Fickle. Going to school has become a chore, rather than an enjoyment like it used to be. Sometimes i hate staying in school till the late evenings. Meow. Maybe things will get better. Just like Midori said : "Tomorrow will be a better day ; i believe." She may do the most unthinking and irritable things sometimes, but I love the way she makes herself strong, the way she stays strong and that undying effort to keep up with everything she needs to keep up with. And somehow i feel that she's the most sensible one amongst us all.

There. My brother's using his labtop again. Meow. I wish i could get one too, though i don't know what for. We're talking on MSN though we're sitting in the same room, making full use of modern technology.

why am i waiting.

I'd a terrible day. Chinese was a blast. Cheryl, Claudine and I were being mega destructive in class and Miss Foo got really angry and upset. I had to fa zhan for almost an hour. I think its a tough job teaching, not to mention teaching 4D. Well, we've been known for the most incrutable faces, irritable pranks, bad attitudes, late homeworks, unpunctuality, high ability to make noise, indifference and so on. Every teacher complains. Oh, but hey, leave the bad attitudes to Dara, Adeline and I. We Dominate =) I don't understand why Miss Lee somehow feels relieved that she's finally got a councillor in class. She was telling Addy and I the other day that this is the most difficult class she had taught since the millenium. I think most teachers are quite pleased with the fact that we're a graduating class. Thats why they constantly remind us about the fact that we're having our O' Levels in 10 sickening months. We collected class photos today and I wrote Claudine a rather long autograph that filled her whole entire page. I kept telling her that she looks possessed in the photo X) Before english, Dara and I were playing. She attempted to kick me and i pulled her leg, causing her to fall. As i was busy laughing, i tripped over the hump at the side of the corridor, fell and knocked my ankle, causing a slight sprain. Dara Toh Shi Xian had the last laugh this time.

After school, another clumsy case happened. Guess what. I went to my locker, got my cheese biscuits and walked up the staircase. When i was on the last fourth step, i tripped, fell and spilled my drink all over the place, my hand and bag. A balaku was formed instantaneously on my shin. In the name of intense pain and distress, I whined my way to class only to find Lin and Jo laughing at me without any sympathy of any form, as usual. I officially declare them the most uncompassionate people of the day. It is not very funny when you see someone falling, for the second time of the day, on the staircase, is it. I had to spend half an hour washing up the mess i created on the steps, excluding the time I spent extracting that stupid tub out of the toilet bowl. Naturally in a bad mood, i swung my arms around, grumbling to Jo and my hand just banged against the huge locker with that odd colour matching. No, its not over yet. I still had to endure the pain in my throat and the agony of a fever. In the end, i went home feeling unsteady psycologically, emotionally and physically. But i'm proud that i didn't reach out my hand and go home via the express way =)

Bel didn't turn up for school. I shouldn't have either. I feel sick. Maybe its because i've been skipping meals and all. Meow. I've been having a bad cough, diarrhoea and fever. I ate and vomitted again. This is a bad bad bad story. Maybe i am becoming a cat. Sometimes i suspect that i am like one, since almost everyone's telling me that. But i don't want to transform =(

i was trying to recollect the past,
reminiscing, thinking, missing.
i walked the paths we used to walk,
took the stairs we used to take.
sat at the same seats we'd sit,
looked at the same things that we'd look.
everything was in place.
everything but you ;
the most important thing of my life.

"Hold on when you feel like letting go."

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-02-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

why do i smile even though its so painful inside.

yes, i'm beginning to loathe you, as much as i love you.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-02-05T05:40:00.000-08:00

Went out early in the morning and met up with my cousins. Lunch was alright, but i ordered the wrong food and it spoilt my mood for the whole day.

I was supposed to snip off the out of control overcrowding hair on my head today, but the shop was closed =( How sad. till tomorrow, then.

There's BC tomorrow. Damn it.

Wan and I saw a car similar to Mum's so we ran towards it, only to see an old man staring out of the window. We got the shock of our lives and we RAN away. She'd done SO many retarded things today. I cant believe this.

i was supposed to call Wee last night but her phone was engaged, i don't know why. Lin was being a great friend. Valerie was in a terrible mood last night and i said so many things that annoyed her. Hahaha. Go Buy 4D. =D

Moo. Where's YUAN.

why do i feel like this. you are a meow.

i think Adam and Lin are probably the only person who'd entertain me whenever i'm bored. Maybe they're always bored too. Adam now calls me Miss Cow. tsk. what a stupid name. haha.

what would you do if i really left.
would you cry, or hold back,
or would you let go and then regret?

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-02-04T01:50:00.000-08:00

shi wo fang ni zou yuan

Do we really have to lose it all?
Do i really have to let go of what i hung onto for so long?
Do i really have to turn around and walk away?
Do i really have to keep my regrets?
Do i really have to leave my happiness down?
Do i really have to do this?
so you could give me wings to fly
catch me when i fall

Resolution Of The Week :

Treat others like you'd like to be treated.

There's a black out in my house and i'm typing in the dark. Things aren't turning out exactly nicely these days. School was exceptionally short today. 4 periods, or rather, 2 only. Karmila came to me with a note today which tells me to stop coughing. haha. like i told Cheryl, its lame but it shows the impact on how ill i am. Thanks Karmila =)

Addy Jo Wingyan Joyce and I helped out at Swimmaton heats today. Jo did something REALLY funny. She took Miss Ng's two loud hailers, put it by her face on each side and asked me : "Do i look like Anna?" hahaha.

Its most probably the first time Wingyan took part in a school event, not to mention the word actively. Cheryl, Jade and Bernice came after that. They added on so much more fun. Bernice and Jade were constantly talking RUBBISH and i said something that kept absolutely Weejia quiet. haha. Jade and Peihan swam. It was hilarious. They kept turning to look at each other and Jade didn't even realise she was almost off the lane. haha. Cheryl sent Jade Bernice and I home after that. The conversation in the car was abolutely funny. Friends around are of great help sometimes, actually. Oh, and i saw Melis Wee today in her suit.

As promised, i'm going to help Cheryl and Jade publicise their glory. Or rather, one and only glory. Have you ever thought of this - you are walking into a cinema, sat down and never realised that you're sitting beside someone famous. If you think its too Korean drama series-like, check this out. Cheryl and Jade, the Tai Tais who are sensitive to any unbranded item, who're afraid of every speck of dust, bit of dirt, the oversensitive, overreactive people who think the wrong way about everything, the ones who gossip about everything are actually recognised by Singapore Tennis Lawn Association, being top 6 in doubles in Singapore. I almost fainted when i heard them talk about it. I thought they were talking rubbish, as always. But then again, anything's possible, ain't it?

Moo. We're getting tired of the stupid joke already. I think Cheryl's getting so annoyed with it, especially when retarded Jade and Weejia don't know when to stop. I can't believe how she really thought we all idolize her when in actual fact, she's just a puppet for our personal entertainment. I've got a question to ask : Since when did Debbie got involved in this? aha. okay. I shalln't be mean this week. My brother has the internet connection on his lab top and this is SO annoying. I should have went too, so i could get myself another luxurious item. tsk. And there he goes again. Meow, but i love him SO much =D

Maybe you've got too much of my essence in you, so much so that you're ALWAYS trying to speak and behave like me. Its time to grow up. Please do find some of your own creativity and style soon. =)

Why are the things that you said and say, did and do replaying in my mind, always.
Why do i learn to treasure, learn of the importance only when i start to lose and have lost.
Why do i have to lose and leave.

6, 8, 12

Do you ever think about me
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep
In the middle of the night when you're awake
Are you calling out for me

Do you ever reminisce
I cant believe i'm acting like this
I know its crazy
How i still can feel your kiss

Its been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But its just not the case
Its been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since you went away.

Do you ever ask about me
Do your friends still tell you what to do
Everytime the phone rings
Do you wish it was me calling you

Do you still feel the same
Or has time put out te flame
I miss you
Is everything okay

Its been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since you went away
I miss you so much and i don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But its just not the case
Its been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since you went away.

Its hard enough just passing the time
When i cant seem to get you off my mind
And when is the good bye
Tell me why
Tell me why

Its been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since you went away
I miss you so much and i don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But its just not okay
Its been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since you went away.

so near yet so far.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-02-03T03:59:00.000-08:00

Boo. I'm leaving.

It is a precious yet painful lesson learnt. I will remember it for life.

I've been down for a very long time.
"you never know what you've got till its gone."
This sounds very cliche, doesn't it? But its true. It'd been like this all along.

I cant believe i've been feeling like this all along.

I'm sorry, Hy. You are disappointed, upset, annoyed, what not, but i'm more disappointed in myself than you are in me. i'm sorry.

i miss the old meowful you.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-02-02T04:51:00.000-08:00

dang(1) yong(1) you(3) yi(3) jing(1) shi(4) shi(1) qu(4)
jiu(4) yong(3) gan(3) de(3) fang(4) qi(4)

I'm down with a flu, headache and stomachache, but the main agony comes from the prize that i've to pay. I wish i could turn back time, shut my gap, carried on with life. I wish i stopped to think, like i never did before. But is there any use regretting now?

School was unglorious today, upsetting and at the same time, challenging.

Things are turning for the better now, but are they like what i thought? I wish it is. It may hurt so damn much, but it'd at least be encouraging. But what if it wasn't? My life's in a complete mess, i dont even know what i'm doing all the time. Yes Ming, you've got this one chance to laugh. Now, shut up.

And i found out this one thing was true
That i'm nothing without you.
I'd rather have bad times with you
Than good times with someone new.

And then i met someone
And thought she could replace you
We got along just fine
But wasted time because she was not you.

i wish you'd call.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等

她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人
不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福
幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨
她的爱怎么那么深

我爱的人
她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神
说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情
永恒的嘲笑声

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-29T18:41:00.000-08:00

也许我还不够能力把你彻底忘记
至少我懂适当时离去

我受了重伤
己不再对爱渴望
握紧的手始终要放
留得住的只是荒壤

我受了重伤
离开只是种疗方
放手逃离伤心的海岸
遗憾的是没找到盲目的药方

多留一分钟就多痛一分钟
我该学会如何遗忘
只是一分钟就能从痛苦中释放
不必为了别人而伤

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-28T03:43:00.000-08:00

Latest Resolutions : Not to meow people anymore and pour water over the raging anger and unbounded sharp sarcasm in me. Quit the game of retaliation and focus on reality and reality only. Walk away from the day dreams and fantasies, don't turn around.

There were many discoveries made this week. Hiao and I are officially named Detention Queens, having made to serve detention three times in a row over a period of three consecutive days, for different matters, together. Karen and I got along well, and she's one of the most mathematical person who is patient to teach, unlike Hiao who's always tsk-ing, unlike Hy, who always says i'm like Mr Black, unlike Wee who sometimes constantly ignores me. I was really down today, and when i went online, Karen started a conversation. She said " hey hey, you haven't lost everything. You've got your friends." It suddenly dawned upon me that i've been terrible to her. So i told her "for all the times i meowded you, judged you and thought you were just another chairperson who screams and screams your lungs out at everyone last year, i apologise. i never did once stopped to look at you and say, hey, look. she's just trying to get her job done. i followed the crowd, and like the rest, thought that 'there she goes.' and more than once, i even made things dfficult for you. until we became friends this year, only did i realise that there's more to you. the mathematical side, the sporty side, the fun side, the FOOD side, the great friend side =)"

And i'm glad i told her that. More than once, I destroyed beautiful friendships because of my temperamental nature, unforgiving and loud temper. Valerie, Joyce, Debbie, Jeannette, Ying Wei, Feizhen, and finally, the most unforgettable one, Kim. Amongst all these quarrels, a mere few were mended, some, we still do quarrel, and the rest, we walk past each other like we aren't acquiented. But hey, I do miss them, till now i still think of them, think of the what ifs and if onlys and the beautiful past. I do have my regrets, shedded tears, difficult times of letting gos, hanging ons and inability to control the hurt in me that turns into extreme anger which leads to increasing comments, invasion and destruption of one's social and emotional life, that results in more and more retaliation which finally ends with the breaking of that very special bond. Even though these things happened so long time ago, why is there a tingling sense of remourse and regret, why do i have the urge of wanting to have them back, the old them with the old me? These people were once the most important people of my life, but all the factors that made us break up, turn and walk away from that once beautiful and glamorous friendship and then, start to regret. But then again, who haven't i quarreled with? Name me one acquientance.

Another thing that made modern technology useful is MSN. I was talking to yuan before i chatted with Karen, pouring my heart out and telling her the most sensitive things and thoughts in my mind, and she had to go off, due to emotional difficulties. But of course, i understood. The point is, we've been best of friends for so long, so much so that it causes me to start to think. All our lives, we've been in the same situations, be it happy or sticky. Since young, we were the most rebellious "Ah Lians" in primary school, violent and independent, never a target for bullies, be it female or male. Or should i put it this way - We were probably the bullies. haha. In secondary school, we don't meet nor talk often, but the same things happen to us. The sudden burst of passion for something, which was Basketball for me, and NCC for her. The incoming of many important people who left footsteps and stepped out. And now, its the same screwed up position that we're stuck in. she said somethings that made me really glad.

i miss. ; yuani. says:
to me you`re stil my best friend you noe?
really.
serious.

so now, i've lost everything. theMeowQueenrock __圣婴德兰篮球队 says:
and you too you know.
hee.

i miss. ; yuani. says:
heh
although we dont meet each other.
but you noe i stil care.
and regard you a close and best friend.
i love you k?

so now, i've lost everything. theMeowQueenrock __圣婴德兰篮球队 says:
i love you too =D

can anyone be any sweeter?

Corrisa is such a darling. She, like Hy, gave me the support when i needed it most. Thank you, Cor.

Hiao told me that i've met my target of being the Bitch Of The Day today, but I don't want to be that. I don't feel really good too, you know. Whats wrong with me.

I have just formulated a new philosophy of the week for Wee and myself and we're going on with our Words of the Day and Philosophies. School is great fun, sometimes.

I feel that everyone has a little bit of my essence in them, and everyone whom i asked agrees to it. Is this supposed to be great? I'm sorry man, i'm no role model.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-27T03:29:00.000-08:00

what if the sun refused to shine?

Thank you, Hy.
For lending me that shoulder when i really needed it, badly. For not walking away, like she did. For not giving up. For being there. For all the love you shine upon me.

Thank you, Yuan.
For giving me the endless supports and encouragement whenever i'm down.

Thank you, Reena.
For remembering. I'm starting to miss you already. You should be in Perth now, but please do keep in contact with me. I'll see you in April =)

I miss yitian.

It was a clear line that seperated the good and the bad, the hardworking and the lazy, the committed and the uncommitted, the stayers and the strayers. It wasn't difficult. Why did we allow giving up to be an option? And in the end, no miracle happened, shattering everything and leaving me with nothing.

"you reap what you sow."

If only you stayed. If only i worked hard. If only they stayed. If only i didn't gave up. If only i worked earlier on. If only we didn't break the strong bond that held us close. If only we didn't quarrel. If only i didn't lose you.

we had time, but we wasted it.
we had a chance, but we let it slip.
we had a shot, but we missed it.
we have a choice, let's make it.

- Let's get back the one chance which we slipped and hold on tight to what we had let go of.
I don't want to walk out again, leaving regrets.

输了球，可以再努力，赢回来。
但是丢掉的机会永远等不到，
失去的人永远要不回来。

为什么。

不是说好了到远方旅行
看世界多大是我们的约定
当时一起看的那部电影
罗马的假期
还读了许多关于旅行的书籍
还以为已经说好了我们一起努力
我从来没有怀疑
很相信
不管多远的距离
都可以一步一步地接近
发生什么事
让你后来放弃
电视播放着细节
多煽情的mv唤醒我所有的回忆
我的心没有办法休息
你不知道我一直都在想你
深夜电台播的旋律
伤感在空气中传递
我百感交集
这首歌每一句都痛到我心里

you were the one
who i could tell my deepest fears.
and you were the one
who always wiped away my tears when it hurt me.
you were my angel straight from above

like a fool,
i never saw you were falling in love
so now i've lost everything
cuz now you say you're gone forever more

so who will i
who will i run to
who will i turn to
now that you left me behind
who will dry my tears when i cry
who will i run to
who will i turn to
now that you're not here in my life.

you were the one i took for granted all those years
and you were the one
i should have known
it was so clear
how could i be so blind not to see what was before my eyes

i'll get you back here with me even if it takes the rest of my life
cuz i would do anything
cuz i want you back forever more.

who will i run to
who will turn to
now that you left me behind
who will dry my tears when i cry
who will i run to
who will i turn to
now that you're not here in my life

i would gladly journey cross a deep blue sea.
if i could know that i could have you here with me
i realise that i was blind but now i finally see
i need you back here in my life
oh baby can it be

who will i run to
who will turn to
now that you left me here behind
who will dry my tears when i cry
who will i run to
who will i turn to
now that you're not here in my life

who will be there for me
who's gonna rescue me
who's gonna share my dreams
who's gonna mend this broken heart.

why does this sound so true.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

why do you have to do this? why are you robbing me of my everything? why are you constantly adding on to the already high level of torture you're giving? why?

趁着黑夜还未破晓之前离开你
你那时来还睡得很甜蜜
是否有察觉到我的一片苦心
是为了不让你逃避你自己
也许我还不够能力把你彻底忘记
至少我懂适当时离去
我受了重伤
己不再对爱渴望
握紧的手始终要放
留得住的只是荒壤
我受了重伤
离开只是种疗方
放手逃离伤心的海岸
遗憾的是没找到盲目的药方
多留一分钟就多痛一分钟
我该学会如何遗忘
只是一分钟就能从痛苦中释放
不必为了别人而伤

i don't know why,but this hurts.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-24T03:58:00.000-08:00

YES! The lil cousin whom i'm extremely fond of is staying over at my house for quite a few days! She's so adorable and pretty, so lovable and smashingly bewitching. I cant leave her at all. haha.

That was fake. I can't laugh out loud now. Times are getting depressing. I think i'll talk it out with you. Maybe not straight in the face, but yes, i'll face it.

I'm being victimised by Dara Bernice Cheryl Jade and Claudine in school. They push me around and randomly throw me "lovers" and new "best friends" and anyhow thrash me names. haha. They're so much fun and sometimes simply make my day. Dont forget Wee and Midori =D

School seriously sucks, though sometimes its so great i dont want to leave. Unfading Memories? I think not. aiyer. This is crap because i'm being so fickle minded. I can't make up my mind on how i feel and everything's just contradicting itself, making me such an indestructable paradox. Oh, shut up.

I've been blogging about all the superficial things these days. Maybe I'm getting superficial? Or have i always been so? My aunt says humans are basically hypocritical, aren't they? I guess. The ingredients that make us are Greed, Hypocrisy, Falseness, Selfishness and some Niceness, depending on which product, isn't it? Probably. Everyone's different is the frequent saying, but then again, how different can people get? Of course, there're always exceptions, and the exceptions make up half of the quarter of the population of the thousands of millions who exist. Are you an exception? Everyone has skeletons in their cupboards, but how many skeletons can your cupboards fit?

Why?

you : Its so great to know that you believe in me, have full faith in me, and though we don't talk often nor even see each other much at all, we still stay at the same level in relation, gapless. i love you much. Its really great to have a friend in you, someone to turn to when i'm helpless and feeling hopeless, someone to talk to whenever i need to yak. Thank you, for always being there and always supporting me in whatever i do. i love you, like i love Hy, Yitian and Yuan. Thank you again, Reena, for your unending words of encouragement, backings and approval. And thank you, for being such a remarkable and noteworthy friend.

你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀
终於看开爱回不来

The moon was always around, but you just didn't make the effort to turn your head a little to see it. I meant "I'm sorry." as much as i meant "i love you much." And i really do. I'm sorry i couldn't be there, i'm sorry i couldn't even understand or at the very least, stand in your shoes and think for you. I seek forgiveness, for my overbearing arrogance and constant hurtful sarcasm. I was probably more hurt than angry, which caused my unthinking anger which came from the effort to hide my tears and hurt. I'm truely sorry.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

meow.

2005-01-21T04:11:00.000-08:00

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Main type	Variant

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
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Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	26%
Type 2	Helpfulness	63%
Type 3	Image Awareness	86%
Type 4	Sensitivity	70%
Type 5	Detachment	40%
Type 6	Anxiety	60%
Type 7	Adventurousness	56%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	86%
Type 9	Calmness	46%

Your main type is 3
Your variant is sexual

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Hy was mine yesterday. Reached home and headed for SICC for Golf. It was mega fun. I had some great swings and i'm happy with it =D

Dinner was terrible. Bad and slow service, plus the perpetual complains from my brother made it worst. The food was quite alright, although uncomparable to the other place. I wish Dad is back. I am craving for Akashi and Goodwood Japanese Cuisine, as well as some of Newton's great dishes, but forget it. The thought of the place and the hygience turns me down. Will someone give me some really good food. Eastcoast is getting boring, Lei Yun is a smart alternative, the smell of that Crab place is an absolute table turner, and home cooked food is rejective though extremely healthy. My mum told me something about instant noodles that make me fear them, no matter how much i like it. yucks.

My baby cousins are really cute and they make my days. My other baby cousin is touching down soon. My favourite =D.

My almost 20 year old sister behaves in a more childish manner than i do. She insisted that i play some crap string ball game with her on the drive way this morning. It turned out to be mega stupid, and she told me she got it for over 200. It isn't the money that mattered, it was the lack of intelligence to buy some a crazy thing and being so excited about it. haha. lame as she may be, i love her to bits. I wish she wouldn't return to Sydney, and my other sister would return from New York NOW, with my Dad, wherever he is. New Year is coming, and i'll have my wish =D

Its so late and i haven't eaten my dinner. And i just found out that Wan and Ming gone off for golf without telling me. WHAT THE MEOW. i shouldn't have gone and waited for an hour.

I enjoy talking to Shuqi. She's talks and thinks differently and understands what i'm saying, which makes her leave a much stronger impression than others and easy to talk to her. Whats more, we sometimes share the same plights, though in different situations. Thank you very much.

我真的懂
你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有陪在你身边
当你寂寞时候

这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流
我也不懂
就让我走
让我开始享受自由
回忆很多
你的影子也会充满我生活
我并不懦弱
你比谁都懂
虽然寂寞
这会是我
最后的宽容

忘了所有过得比你快活
不要再说
或许这是最好的结果
现在分手
总好过你不爱我
一拖再拖
松开你的手
离开你左右
我向前走
这会是我真正的解脱

i think i miss you.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-17T05:51:00.000-08:00

happy birthday yuan! the girl i love =)

Tuition yesterday was boring, not to mention uneasily quiet and meowful, with some awkward silences barging in here and there. Cheryl and I were late again, as always, but Patrick was EVEN later. Oh, whats new.

Its yuan's birthday today, but she's sleeping, claiming that she celebrated the day before. aha. sorry lady, i didn't call back because i thought it was late and you'd be sleeping, again. But then, i realised you're an owl-like creature, so i kinda regretted it. meow.

do i hear someone crying?

Jo detached my mp3 string and i'm too lazy to get it, though its causing me a lot of inconvenience, having to go without it. I just realised how musically inclined i am because i can't be without music whenever i'm free. It makes me feel as though there's something missing. Oh, i downloaded some of the Simple Plan songs into my player for the sake of Jo, who doesn't listen to chinese and claims that she doesn't understand. aha. meow, now.

Reena rocks =D

thank you, Claudine and Wee.

Somehow, i think that the one who recieved the most hurt in this whole event isn't you or me, but her. The one who stayed by the side line and watched then game, the one who recieved and graciously accepted the silent rejections, the one who looked on, stayed on and now moved on.
I regret this, so much.

Hy said i'm good yesterday and for that, i rejoice.

Jo keeps shouting, and meowing. Though unintentional, its provocative okay. hmph.

Anna is one huge crazy mad meow. She just jumped at Claudine and I in Queenstown, and started yakking away. haha. Insane she may be, she rocks =D (maybe for today only. aha)

I failed my amaths test again, though i improved tremendously. From scores like 1 and 0 or 2, i scored 16 this time, over 20. 4 mere marks gone due to extreme carelessness, unthoughtfulness and the mistake of the eye. The worst thing is that LCK's gonna call my mummy now. He's gonna call everyone's parents because practically everyone failed, again. Claudine, please take control.

aiyer, this is extremely annoying and thought provoking. I can't concentrate on anything at all.

Hiao skipped school today, but i met the Hiao-er version of Hiao - Rachel Siu.

Let's count how much work i have today

: Emaths
: Geog - study Earth Movements
: Chinese - Workbook and compo corrections
: Accounts - study for test tmr
: SS - worksheet, Structured Essay.

I am very proud to be a student, a pupil, a school girl, but i'm not exactly happy nor satisfied to be among the hundreds and thousands who fail their tests.

Its time to work, work and work.

And here i go, starting my first day of real hard work.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-16T04:01:00.000-08:00

SO what is the point of trying and attempting to reconcile when i'm being blamed and provoked all the time? I know, no matter what, you'll ALL think that its my fault, i'm in the wrong because i retaliated. oh please. why don't you guys try to get some sense into that numb skull of HERS too? speechless eh? wtf. All the times its "Do you know why you are in the wrong?" why am I in the wrong? why cant you go up to her and say the same. oh, its ME ME ME ME ME ME ME AND ME. fullstop. because what, she's the rising star HUH. oh, i forgot. Maybe, its because she's so uncomplicated and ever innocent plus nice, which makes you feel guilty if you tell her that. Did i forget to mention the fact that she's compromising and always the one giving in, the one who is being VICTIMISED. oh yea, i must have forgotten. How absent minded can i get ; she's Mother Theresa gonnabe, which makes her unoffendable EH?

do not make me hate you, meow. DO NOT. you are already gettting on my nerves. stop your pretence and acts of innocence. I finally understand how Anna felt when she so hated Jo. And i finally understood why Kwan and Sharon thought of quitting ; And The Reason Is YOU. ( partly )
Don't make me transform into a bitch-like hell of a crap, because we'll all not feel good at all. Everything has a limit ; do not cross, or i'll fire.

No, the redness doesn't symbolize any flow or anticipation of any flow nor does it signify an over pouring amount of energy and passion. It symbolizes ANGER, which is unbearable, but unremovable. fullstop dot

i have full respect for you, but stop telling me HOW wrong i am, because you haven't stood in MY shoes.

SHUT UP.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-15T17:49:00.000-08:00

i miss my daddy.
yitian.
yuani.
reena.

meow. i'm sneezing so many times.

he says he recieved the letter already, but what about the rest i've sent? This is meowful. I'm so squamby now. its such an incy whincy penny day. I called Mr Hong and cancelled tuition before i realised that tuition is next saturday. this must be the aftermath of yesterday's retardation in channalling my emotions into a right path, which caused serious psycological breakdown and in turn resulted in my senseless and reasonless actions.

is that true?

i can make it through the rain
i can stand up once again
on my own
and i know
that i'm strong enough to mend
and everytime i feel the pain
i hold on tighter to my faith
and i know
on my own
i can make it through the rain.

special thanks to : Kwan
for being there and talking meow sense into me though they are meowful logic. (haha)

love,
me.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

I did the unbelievable. But i'm not regretting. After getting into so much crap today, this is the first time i'm feeling so relaxed, even though all the crap i got into were done in the name of Fun before Remourse came in. Maybe Hy'll be proud of me this time. Maybe Miss Mak too.

...
and the wind came in
and brought in sediments and hurdles
which eventually turn everything into dust.

Maybe, all i wanted was just to keep you. But my perspective and points of view have changed. I'll let go, even if i know i cant, and will never fully be able to.

wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-11T06:10:00.000-08:00

gei ni zui hou de teng ai shi shou fang kai
bu xiang yong yan yu la che suo yi xuan zhe bu ze guai
gan qing jiu xiang hou che yue tai
you ren zou you ren lai
wo de xin shi yi ge zhan pai
xie zhe deng dai

okay there's so many things to blog about for my day.

Firstly, school was fun though i screwed my Amath paper.

Wee was telling me nonsense again on MSN.

: what is a deer without an eye?
me : what? raindeer? iris?
: nope
me : then?
: No eye deer.( no idea)

haha. what a lame joke.

Hy talked sense today.

I went home with Claudine today. She's so guillable and easily cheated. I feel so superior, in terms of IQ when talking to her. haha.

My younger brother just bought himself a laptop. HAPPILY. And he just played the music in front of me. I should have went into ACS(I) too. Damn it. I'd be having a new computer and a new phone too. TSK. what the meow.

Thanks shuqi, for the help today =D

off to do some IMPORTANT STUFF. =D i'm in a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOd mood.

最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪
感情就像候车月台
有人走有人来
我的心是一个站牌
写着等待

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-09T23:50:00.000-08:00

I skipped school today and coincidentally, Anna, who was supposed to meet me in the morning, skipped school also. How very cool.

I've been trying to call Addy and Jo for 10 thousand times, but they're not picking up their phones. This is strange. Very strange indeed.

I've been studying, not all morning but since noon. I was reading that book i picked from tuition yesterday, which has soporific effects that has been drowning me. Talking about tuition, it was quite boring. There're 3 Nanyang people in the same class as Cheryl and I, who seem to be very spontaneous and enthusiatics, not forgetting over-friendly. Sorry to say this, but, please pour your saliva on someone else =) There is an Andre-look-alike in there whose from ACS too. Does that shows how the people from the same school are photocopied, in character and looks? haha.

Adam remains an unspontaneous meowful substance, though he entertains me whenever i'm bored.

滴答滴
听天空在哭泣
洗掉了一些梦
埋葬在城市里
滴答滴
听时间往前去
好象在预报着
未来的连续剧
一封信
一件旧的毛线衣
谁是谁的纪念品
拿什么来回忆
一场雨
狠狠下在眼睛里
爱在生老病死后
已经都没关系
问自己
没有你我行不行
显微镜里看爱情
残酷的放大所有爱的原因
遇见你
之后爱上你
然后狠透你
原来爱是回不去的旅行
亲爱的让我忘~记你
那些事情
我终于看仔细
深夜里
捷运站飘着雨
我看着马路边
另一对我和你

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-08T19:38:00.000-08:00

blah, Mr Hong just left.

My sister is meowful. She edited my Friendster profile, and in my Hobbies column, she wrote : ... and of course not sitting properly on a chair. Under the column which says : Describe Who You Want To Meet, she wrote : ... and, of course people who do not have a backbone like me. we do not sit, we sleep.

Thank you, for going all out to tell me that i'm lazy.

HA! i edited it again.

I'm meeting Cheryl in 20 mins to teach her Amath before heading for tuition together. I now officially declare that Cheryl is lazier than anyone, which includes me, as her laziness (towards everything) is of the highest rank.

i am feeling so tired, though i slept from12am til 1pm yesterday, and then from 3pm to 7pm, and then from 11pm to 9am today. Do not fret. Stace is another sleepy head, like i am =D

Talked to zhichao and adam last night and Kuan Zeng the other night. We were reminiscing about the past and dug up great memories that had been buried, unknowingly. I so love Swiss.

alright, tuition time. tsk.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-07T03:43:00.000-08:00

Don't you make me start. I might be very horrible.

DM : You pestilential creature intoxicated with insatiable hunger to annoy others. Please cut down on your wierd and unextinguishable passion.

school was mega fun today. i went to school at 9am, went for Accounts lesson, had recess and 3/4 of Accounts before heading for Orientation. It was stupid. I had fun with Wee and Claudine in class, though. Did i forget to mention that i started the day by WEE-ing non-stop. haha it was great fun.

Went home with Addy, Jo and Anna. It was pure fun. We kept trying to irritate people by singing all the nonsense baby songs. It turned out to be horrible in the end, as i had to suffer the most. Gee. Ask Anna about it.

Dara, the 4 letter word. (inside joke)

My sister is back! I'm quite happy. Life's gonna be fun, with almost all my cousins coming back for New Year celebrations. YAY!! but i miss my daddy, and i want him back here hurry hurry.

aiyer, my cousin is dressing like a poseur. terrible terrible.

My cousin says : "I doubt so, you're never once serious." Enough of the drama. Now she's ah ing about the ah li shan de gu niang, and now mei gui mei gui, wo ai ni.

Haiyer, I haven't called Hy. She wants to read me a passage, which means i've to bear her slumberous and hypnotic voice with the expectations to understand and follow what she'd read.

My baby cousins keep telling me they don't wanna friend each other. Haha. They're mega cute.

Oh man, i fell down and i've got bruises on my knee. Its painful.

My sister is telling me that others don't have food to eat and i should go for my dinner now. And so i shall.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-04T04:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not in the mood to do anything now.
So many things happened and they just act like, hey, i'm not involved and i've got nth to do with this, and as though they're not at all concerned. Isn't this demoralising?

We tried so hard, I tried so hard, but some prefered to redirect their paths. They changed their ways, they altered their plans. They left, either physically or mentally. It not fair to US, is it? What's the difference between those two, anyway? Why the constant blaming and undertaking of responsibility to find fault, denounce, reproach? Whats the point or use of trying to run away and avoid? Why the back biting and bad mouthing? Whats the point of saying, talking, describing, and explaining PASSION or COMMITTMENT? Its just all talk, isn't it? No Action Talk Only. NATO.

but then again, is there any meaning in reproving or condemning now that things turned out this way? Wanling told me Kim said 'chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi' but there's no turning back for this, nor are we in any position at all to discuss or make any decision in this issue, is it?

this whole soul researching and reflecting simply voices down to the question "What is the point?"
Precisely. Whats the point of thinking so much, now?

i hate you, 9! (involvement of Amath to show how its making me crumble)

No, i'm not alright. But yes, i'll be.

i can make it through the rain.

and i will.

yes, study, study, study. enough. i got the message, OKAY.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

say it isn't so.

2005-01-03T03:44:00.000-08:00

what the meow. i have a mega spoilt 6 year old cousin and he's making a whole load of noise. terrible. i know how to scream and cry and jump and stomp too you know, and i enjoy it =D. haha

Its the first day of school and Maggie Lee just told us to bring a WHOLE load of books and gave us this meowful conflict story assignment. tsk. and i've gotta do some shit research. damn it. we've got some change in teachers. Maggie Lee's taking us for lit and i've got LCK for double maths. He bored the shiat outta Midori and me.

i just written my letters. The test has been postponed to next tuesday and i'm not really prepared. oh crap. But i'll try anyway. My brother has been breathing down my neck all day. I know he does it for my good and i do appreciate it, but school itself is stressful enough, already. With all the teachers coming in, telling us 10 times a day that we're going to have our O levels in 10 months time, and with people asking me if i'm prepared for this and that all day, its making me go crazy on the first day of school. Did i mention that Marcia and Liyana joined my class this year, and all the people who retained went to Debbie's class.

Talking about Debbie, i feel kinda meowful. i shall email her.

I feel sad for the people who dies because of tragedy. Let's all pray for them, in our own ways. Jo and I donated all our coins to them today. I may be cash strapped now, but i'll try to help. So please do, okay? good people.

Mr Spoilt is now smiling. temperamental. haha.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2005-01-02T10:46:00.000-08:00

jayrocks.com

gee. i've been jaying all day recently, but i'm not getting sick of him.

寂寞下手毫无分寸，

不懂得轻重之分。

想回到过去。

回到那个属于我们的天地，

那段忘不了的回忆，

那段无忧无渌的日子，

打球，玩耍。

但是我们都知道，

也许已经不能回到从前。

I wanna get back to Hong Kong and go to Disneyland! But I don't wanna go now, firstly because its not complete and secondly, i don't wanna go back with stress. After O's next year, i'll fly back straight away. =D

there's nothing to blog about this morning. i'm still feeling sick, and i need my mummy.

yue ai yue yao fang kai.

2004-12-31T07:07:00.000-08:00

rang ni zuo zui qing song, zui zi ran de ren.
wo hui xue zhe fang shou.

I'm into a colour pscology these days and i've recieved many different responses.

Shuqi says i'm interesting and its the first time she's encountering something like that.
Hy says that people will think i'm lame if they don't know me, but i think she doesn't.
Andre clearly isn't interested nor convinced.
Adam told me straight that he's not believing me.
Thung Liang said he's lazy to analyze. TSK.
Jo - : "I don't know why i'm listening to you say all these, but ... okay lo. " haha
Lin tried very hard to confuse me with a whole string of words, but too bad, i ain't confused. aha!
Miss Mak said i genuinely didn't make sense.
Yitian - " you make up one is it?! HAIYO. I almost believe you. Luckily i didn't. "
Miss Koh wass the funniest among all. I asked her " if someone wears a red shirt, brown pants and green socks, what does that mean? " Her grand answer was "No dress sense?"

what the meow. UNSPONTANEOUS PEOPLE. Only Jo believed me while Miss Koh tried very hard to show that she's very interested. hmph. W-H-Y.

its the last day of the year. i'm feeling so overruned by emotions. The whole year's incidents, accidents, events, happenings, everything comes back to my mind when i was swimming this afternoon. I will remember 2003 and 2004. People who play, played and will always play a part in my life came in and out. Those who were supposed to stay, stayed. Those who weren't fated to be friends with me left. And thats that, isn't it?

I'm being very practical and realistic these days. I don't like it.

Bed time. Everyone'll be returning from all over the world these two weeks. I can't wait.

i miss my mummy and daddy.

" Whatever that's yours will always be yours, and whatever that's not yours will never be, even if you manage to keep it for quite some time. "

i'll remember that.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2004-12-29T20:36:00.000-08:00

I can make it through the rain.

And i will.

Do you believe in forevers? I don't.
Do you believe in never-endings and happily ever afters? I don't.
Because nothing last forever, nothing stays as happy always, nothing is never ending.
and that was how my fairy tale was once again shattered into nothing but a tattered dream.

" that stupid dumb arse. i'll peel his bones "

blah. i'm sick again. i've got cough and stomache with diarrhoea for like so many days. My brother is a screamer.

my sister is mad. she called home and said she wanted to sing me a song and started lalala-ing. i just called my lil cousin. she's megawati cute and extremely lovable. i really wanna kidnap her.

i'm mega bored. there's nothing much to blog about, actually. School's reopening soon, Shuqi kindly offered to help me with my studies. Thank you so much.

- till then

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2004-12-29T03:35:00.000-08:00

I'm free to enjoy freedom, to enjoy life as it was meant to be.
I'm happy to be like this, to be me.
I'm satisfied with what i have, what i have and what i don't,
I'm contented with my life, with my style of living.
Do not interrupt.

Cheryl says the difference between JC and Poly is that "poly is very ma fan because everyday have to think and choose what to wear, JC easier everyday wear the same thing." Cool mentality huh. I SO admire her unbeatable love for fashion, unextinguishable thirst for self-satisfaction.

Andre's team played against Jurong, The One was there but sadly i couldn't go down to watch. It was an exciting yet one way thrashing match, i heard. But i believe that the most hardworking team is the actual winner, and i believe Mr Black is hardworking, as Mrs Black is.

I lost my temper today. It probably wasn't because of that, but something else. I'm sorry Kim, though you should be too.

You talk about respecting the game, the game being your life, taking all the Nike and other sports brand's slogans and making it your own, but do you do as you say? Its such a paradox that you make us laugh out loud. Really.

Dearest Nathasha, wouldn't it be easier to tell me what you're unhappy about me to me instead of being a gutless creature sneeking behind my back, prattling and blabbering on and on about this and that and how much you dislike me. Too bad, I don't like you either. Do Not Provoke, especially now that you're already standing in my way, disturbing my usually pleasant line of vision.

Chinese New Year is finally coming! I'm not really looking for my yearly incoming cash but the very fact that everyone's gonna be getting together once again. Aiyer, 5 of my cousins will be overseas and my sister will still be in New York. Bloody hell, i miss them. Last new year celebrations was quite boring, but i hope this coming one wouldn't be.

忘
我没有很努力要自己去遗忘
那些和日记一起收藏的过往
孤单在思绪之中变得很漫长

想
我没有很刻意让自己不去想
那些和照片静止的模样

我学着坚强
坚强到不
用学着不想
学着遗忘

还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去
就勇敢的放弃

还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离

我会这么相信
走下去

I love this.

我向前走
这会是
我真正的解脱

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2004-12-27T01:25:00.000-08:00

even if we were never meant to be, ...

Its a terribly sad day. So many unpleasant events have been happening recently. I'm feeling so down over the umpteen numbers of death due to the major earthquake that took place in Asia. 10000 people dead? i feel so heartbrokened for their family and their loved ones. I was stopping by Caltex while walking home this afternoon and coincidentally saw the newspaper stand. There was a chinese newspaper and Sunday Times. Seeing the faces and pictures of people crying unbearably, sobbing their hearts out, it made me feel so stimulated. What can be worst than losing your family, the pillars in your heart to rely on, the people in your life to turn to? What can be worst than having to live alone in misery, to live all alone suddenly? What can be worst?

I changed my mind about watching tv this afternoon. So many people out there are suffering, yet i cant help. Its such a disturbing yet helpless feeling. It makes me feel so bounded and so frustrated. It just pulls my whole spirit of life down.

My brother's arriving this evening. I love him. He may be irritating and provoking all the time at home, but i still love him. For the fact that he gives in multitudinously to me, for the fact that he doesn't tell me he loves me but shows it through actions, for the fact that he doesn't hit or scold me even though i'm so rude, mean and harsh to him all the time, for the fact that he makes a lot of "difficult decisions" and uses a tidy sum of brain cells thinking which curve ruler and watch to give me, for the fact that he is my source of entertainment at home, for the fact that he tells me to study hard and tells me things that come truely from his heart, for the fact that he held me tight when we were in the crowd going for a concert not wanting me to get lost, for the fact that he have always treated me nicely even though i seemed to have treated him very horribly, for the very fact that he is special, for the very fact that he is my elder brother, i love him. I'm sorry i've always been terrible and unspontaneous, but deep down, i'm really thankful of all the things you did and said yet didn't know it touched my heart.

I miss my mum and dad.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2004-12-25T07:17:00.000-08:00

merry christmas.

i miss
- my sisters
- my brother
- mum
- dad
- aunt
- mei mei

i want
- cash
- New Year's celebrations
- to be firm on my new year resolutions
- Jade Cheng Yu
- Cheryl to have her BM

i am contented with
- my christmas presents
- my life
- my friends

i love
- basketball.

We Are Strong. This Is Our Game.

this was written on the present cheryl gave me. sweet dear cheryl. she delievered a huge photo frame with a slam dunk poster in it right to my door step. i shall stop teasing her for awhile.

Special thanks
- to Sharon Tong for talking much sense into me today
- to Yuan who exchanged words with me to meow those people who TWINKLE
- to Cheryl for being sweet and talking to me whenever i'm bored, on and offlone
- to HY for being there, willing to be there and offering to be there.
- to Jo. for being there willingly too.

goodnight.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

love, me.

2004-12-24T12:51:00.000-08:00

Ji Mo De Ji Jie

What shall i do with all the memories? hide them, keep them or simply throw them away and start anew like you do?

Its christmas eve. a heart rending, joyless, wretched christmas eve. I miss my siblings. I miss my family. I miss yuan. I miss yitian. I miss reena. I miss team'03, where everyone was so together. I miss eric. I miss Basketball. I miss Joyce. I miss my dogs. I miss the old me, but i don't hate them new me either. The new strong me.

Its christmas and its a time of truth, a time to tell the truth. And so i did, Valerie.

Cheryl should have recieved my card. That's the only card i sent out this Christmas. I was too lazy to make some more, though i really shouldn't be. Thanks Dara, for that very pretty card. Thank you, Fel, for sending me cards EVERY year. Very much appreciated. Really.

ye xu wo shi tian sheng xi guan zi si

so many feelings deep down inside,
unable to clearly manifest my ambiguous emotions.
inscrutable; unpenetrable; unfathomable me
do not read.
do not see nor try to see,
for seeing isn't believing.
its just self consoling.

I'm facing it.

Reena's leaving for Perth soon.

someone tell me why i'm feeling grumpy. tong, shut up.

The thought of school makes me feel a lil sick, a lil revolted, a little bit excited. I guess time will pass really fast next year. With the detentions i've already planned to skip, being thrown a whole load of work, the whole morbid fact that we're going to be reminded 10 times a day that we'll be having our O's in 10 months and considering the amount of time i'll stay in the library, school is probably going to be oh, so fun.

maybe studying hard wouldn't be too bad an idea. it can be fun, probably.

When i jump into the pool, please remind me that i'm getting less lazy. if i do, that is.

Mary Marry Christmas Merrily.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2004-12-22T06:45:00.000-08:00

walameow.

after hours with yitian, i've recovered. i no longer mind the fact that you did meowful things. forgive and forget, isn't it? i have a life. i live it well for my hard working daddy, my perpetually loving mum, my very much valued family and charming friends. its not for crying over silly things. and anyway, i didn't cry.

we share a glorious friendship dont we? i love yitian yuan and birdy. thanks for all, for being here when i seriously needed someone.

i'm okay.

Miss Mak says : Accept It Graciously.

to my vast ego and glowing conscience : I made it through the rain.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

2004-12-22T04:29:00.000-08:00

do not provoke

people certainly do change very fast, don't they? in three weeks, you became a total different person. disappointment runs through me.

no, you cant beat me down. i stand tall, i see far. i will survive.

i can make it through the rain
i can stand up once again
on my own
and i know
that i'm strong enough to mend
and everytime i feel the pain
i hold on tighter to my faith
and i know
i can make it through the rain. .

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____team._______

fairy tales never come true.

2004-12-21T06:46:00.000-08:00

Fairy tales never come true. Happily ever afters belong to people of immense naivity. Ever long lasting is simply a form of self deceit.

that's why i don't like Cinderella anymore.

Jo and I went to the library today and suddenly, both of us had diarrhoea, at the very same time.
she went into the big toilet while i went to the female one. Upon stepping into the toilet, i felt excitment running through me - its time to go in search of my lost childhood. yes, i went into the kid's cubicle and came out with a horrid experience - the toilet bowl keeps flushing and flushing automatically and it was extremely uncomfortable. if you get what that means.

i'm back. i've return matured, a lil grown, more appreciative. yes, things have changed between us. you chose to let go, to give up and of course, i know you've got your respectable reasons and i understand. i can forgive, but not forget. Anyway, i feel that maybe we've both made the right choice, the correct move. and i'm glad both of us feel better this way, happier, less pressurized. However, i wish to let you know that you'll always be in my heart, like i've said in the past.

okay i'm opening up to the world. tell me if you think i'm horrid. just tell me. i wouldn't hit you. i just want to know.

yes yuan, i shall make him slim down and then tian you and i will share the sweets :) DOUBLE YAY!

i miss Reena.

i look forward to a new tmr, a new start, a new life without you.
and i will do Just Fine or maybe, better.

bedtime.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

tong is missing, and i'm missing tong.

2004-12-19T23:26:00.000-08:00

this is anna. following the footsteps of my dearest motherbird.

where is tong?
she called me that day,
sounding miserable.
telling me she miss me and the team.
dont worry tong. we miss you too.
i miss the loud hailer and the overdomineering voice.
haha. hy has passed me the flu too.
the horrible bird flu, which has infected me and prevented me from training.
dont worry tong, you'll never walk alone.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

somebody's missing; missing somebody?

2004-12-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

how weird is the English language.
TONG is missing.
missing TONG.
equals to 2 total different meanings. =)

anyways.
i love typin as the 3rd person, so i shall do it startin from now.. hahaa.

TONG called back yest.
HY was actually all down & stuff due to her inconsiderate bunch of friends, but TONG brightened her up.. like totally. talked for 9mins 9secs. =D
(who cares bout long-distance call charges when shifu misses disciple soo.. sooo.. soooo much?!) it was all cool shiats.

& btw, TONG fell ill. tsk tsk tsk. HY must have sent her bird's flu over.. damn she's feelin all guilty now.

P.S. pls take care of yourself & come back with a healthy body?! *lol weirddd but yea. =D

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

lazypoke

2004-12-07T13:57:00.000-08:00

okayyy hy just want to shock the hell out of her disciple. =)

maybe its just a pleasant surprise, i dont know.
but im here bloggin not as TONGTONG;
nor help her with what she wanna publicize;
but just, for her.
since at Tuesday, December 07, 2004 4:54:11 AM
she emailed birdy,

" i can blog, but am too lazy. "

so due to her laziness that CANNOT be tolerated by birdy, i shall blog so as to make her appearrr less lazy. make sense? hahaa & anyone notice it actually RHYMES?!

P.S.
(if you happen to see this)
TAKE CARE & PLS FLY BACK ASAP.

heaps heaps heaps of featherly hugs, HY.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-12-01T23:27:00.000-08:00

wondering what misery is?
what i am going through down here, at Shanghai, is DOWNRIGHT misery.
i miss everyone. i miss the toilets in singapore, the food, the everything.
i hate this god damn place, esp at night.
the hostel is terrible. it SUCKS.

meowful things. its all so meowish i can just cry.

what the meow.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-26T18:22:00.000-08:00

wo ni de shou

inconsiderate, irresponsible, irritating, thought-provoking, antagonizing, SICKENING. don't even spare a single thought for anyone. ungrateful crap. i had sucha good time spreading and stretching sarcasm over the table, hitting each of them on their weakest points. aha. yes, i'm vindictive and i am convicted to meowing you. you've provoked the wrong person. maybe not. i shall be forgiving. my mummy says we must forgive and forget; lets pity you then. you have all my sympathy. don't call me an intimidator. you're the annoyer here.

aha. her mega black face and worried expression makes me feel so contented i can go without lunch today. actually, not. she's not worthy. talking about food, i dreamt that i went out with Berly and we bought a lot of food, but i couldn't finish it - i woke up too soon, due to a stomache. meowful.

went shopping yesterday. bought loads of stuff but i'm not satisfied. i want you.
meow. i'm going shopping this afternoon again and i'm elated.

will be flying off tomorrow afternoon and then going to over in another few days. my schedual will be rather hectic, i guess.

is my first paragraph a lil too harsh? my conscience is pricking. perhaps they're not that bad? Cinderella says one should have their good sides too. reasonable as it may seem, i have to disagree in this situation. meow, i'm getting mean again, Oh well, they should be alright, right? maybe i'll try being nice to them and just stop meowing them? i don't know if i can do that. its difficult. anyway, i'm happy you're gone.

meowded. its the second time i'm having a diarrhoea, and i suspect i'm having a toothache. i don't need that, man. goodness.

"yi qian mei yi ci hui shou
shi wei le zai wo shou
dan zhe yi ci
shi wei le fang shou"
meow. i like this song.

STC TEAM' 04 :

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep cryin out to be saved but nobody comes
And you feel so far away that you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's ok, won't you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down, don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
Won't you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you, you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
And I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I, I can make it through the rain
Oh yes you can,You're gonna make it through the rain

Coach says: "its all in the mind."

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

___supporting you all the way, love much.

I'll Be Back.

i love team'03 '04

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-22T18:02:00.000-08:00

meow -_- everything i posted have been deleted.
its SO meowful.

i'm going off in 20 minutes. All that i've wanted to say to everyone, i've said, in a way or another.

talked to Shuqi online. i'm glad we're acquaintances. its nice to meet you =)

anyway, i'm off. so there, everyone.

i love team' 03 '04
and
i love you.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-21T05:41:00.000-08:00

i'm back to blog again. its rather quiet at home now. Peaceful, i'd prefer to call it.

went shopping again! bought a new pair of gloves but i'm considering giving it to my cousin. he'll probably need it too. perhaps i should.

alright, i shall.

i've got nth to blog about anymore. all i've wanted to tell everyone, i've said, in one way or the other.
oh well, i guess that's that, then. i'll miss everyone.

shuqi's blog is the same colour as mine. how really coincidental. anyway, i'm glad we're acquaintances. really.

my maid is going hysterical. anyway, i'm buying hairbands for them. pretty cool idea, isn't it?

wo qi dai
ni de hui lai

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-19T18:05:00.000-08:00

When i saw you
i was afraid to talk to you
When i talked to you
i was afraid to hold you

When i held you
i was afraid to love you
Now that i love you
i'm afraid to lose you
Sometimes love hurts
But if it doesn't
Then it isn't love

Hold onto the person you love
before they slip away
Or else you can never get them back

And i almost died when you left me
But i lived for the two months you loved me
Until there was you,
i cried myself to sleep
While i had you
i fell asleep with a gentle smile on my face
Before i lost you
i worried myself to sleep
Now that i know you're gone,
i sit up at night,
waiting for you to come back.

i foung this while browsing through my email inbox. You sent me this, but you're the one who left. what a paradox.

Angel in disguise
Stories in his eyes
Love for every true heart that it sees.
Was it just a lucky day
That it turned to look my way
Or is it Heaven right before my very eyes.
He showed me all new things
The shimmer of moonbeans
I was blind, but now he's helped me see.
I was lost but now I'm found
His happiness surrounds
And now I find that my dreams can come true.
Cause I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life
I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine
I can't live without you cause my soul would die
You know I'm telling the truth,
I'll spend the rest of my life loving you
It didn't start this way
It happened just one day
You smiled at me and I saw you, differently.
Now I'm a tremble just to be
A part of you as we
Begin a life that's sure to never end.

i'm leaving for HK on monday. i can't wait.

i miss you and i'll really miss you when i'm over there. i don't know when i'll be back, probably not too fast. i miss us being us, no quarrels, no unpleasantness. and thats what it'll be when i'm back right? i love you much.

Hy : i'm glad your O's are over, and i'll keep my word about lettering you. i don't know how i'm feeling now. a lil glad, a lil upset. i'll miss you.

Debbie : i'll letter you too! thanks for everything, sometimes tolerating my over-bearing ego and being there almost all the time. we may have our quarrels squabbles and shouting sessions, but no grudges beared right? haha. anyway, i'm _ _ _ _ _ for all the hurtful things i've said. without saying, i'll miss you too =)

Anna : you're a meower! i am gonna bite you man. you haven't turned up for AGES! but for all the great times i've had with you, for all the quarrels we've had, i'll miss you too.

Lin : you've been a GREAT friend. i'm serious. i don't know what to say to you and i won't wanna say it here. i'll letter you too! haha. and my jersey huh. its only natural that i'll miss you.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-17T20:37:00.000-08:00

wo hui fa zhe dai
ran hou wang ji ni
jie zhe jing jing bi shang yen
xiang zhe na yi tian
hui you ren dai ti
rang wo bu zai xiang nien ni
wo hui fa zhe dai
ran hou wei wei xiao
jie zhe jing jing bi shang yen
you xiang le yi bian
ni wen rou de lian
zai wo wang ji zhi qian

i'm still feeling terribly sick.

my flight's probably on Monday afternoon. i'm not sure if i'll come back, so i'll probably miss everyone like crazy. let's hope i can blog over there. i don't know if i wanna go. a part of me can't wait to go, but somehow i'm rather unwilling to leave. the beautiful things i can do there, the genuinely delicious food, the so many places i'd go to and the whole place there attracts me like a magnet. but still . . .

let's not think about it.

we went out for breakfast this very morning and i was constantly talking without sense throughout the whole journey. My brother shot me a look and said "i can't believe you're 15." so i said, "why not?but i am." he said "so what's with the gu-ga-gu-li-ga nonsense and chic chic?" in his most annoyed tone. haha. 'chic chic' was refering to the seat belt. i wanted him to look at this building and told him to take it off, but the word suddenly left my mind and so there. meowded. now my cousin's saying i make up my own language. Hy understands what i'm saying even when i speak like that. She's normal. Dad was telling us that he coudn't join us that soon and we've to be polite when we reach there and suddenly, he called my name. have i been rude? i doubt so. i've always been polite, under normal circumstances. gee.

zhe me
ying chang
wo de bei shang
shi qu ni de di fang

xin li de yen lei
muo hu le shi xian
wo yii zai kan bu jian

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-17T03:21:00.000-08:00

ya, LA.
haha.

i went to school this morning and when walking up the stairs, i fell. BOOM. and slid. SHUUP. the woman walking down panicked before i did, looked at me as though she's overwhelmed with terror and said "GASP! are you alright are you alright?" i was laughing when i was on the steps. She looked at me as though i was crazy. i muttered "yea i'm alright, thanks." and continue walking. Guess what i found later on my arm and knee? correct. bruises.

there were so little people today that you can actually count them off with your fingers.capricious people who don't even TELL me that they're not coming. TERRIBLE.

my cousin told an exceedingly lame joke.
her friend : i'm going back to malaysia.
her : go back to Malaysia for what? you're not even a malay.

what the meow. stupid jokes are all around. i thought of this one while telling my brother about my day.

A : GUESS what happened when i was climbing up the stairs?
B : what?
A : Guess.
B : you fell?
A : NO
B : you tumbled down?
A : NO
B : then, what?
A : i got to the last step.

i'm not laughing.

Dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shei
ni xiang bu xiang zhao ge ren lai pei
ni de kuai le shang bei
zhi you wo neng ti hui
rang wo zai pei ni zhou yi hui

i'd still choose to believe, to wait, to trust, to hold on.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-16T05:09:00.000-08:00

"hold on when you feel like letting go"
hy says

the Meow Queen rock.

dear you :
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
if only you have an idea how i felt.

wo men dou jie shou
yi ding shi bi ci bu gou cheng shou
zai ai xing li fen bu liao qing zhong

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-15T01:48:00.000-08:00

hai shi hai pa ye shen ren jing shi zong xiang qi ni

my nose is running away, so i plucked my courage away.

haha. sounds funny to me. alright. i'm sick and its really sickening. i couldn't have a good night's rest yesterday night and had to go through a whole day of nose blowing and a whole morning of diarrhoea. did i mention that i had to drink SO many cups of water. let's count. i drank about 8 cups since morning. i'm a water tank. My imagination is running wild. i kept trying to think of ways of how to stop my flu and wished for some pills that i could pop and be well again. i wanna be like Harry Potter - just a flick of the wand and everything would be as pretty as it was.

i'm craving for some sushi and loads of cheese, but cheese would make me more sick, wouldn't it? that's really discouraging. snatching me of my right to eat. what the devil ...

4 more days to the end of Hy's O's. i really hope she'll do well.

i think she's cute. i stumbled onto her blog and found her entries rather amusing. i was wondering who in the world she is and if her real person would be as adorable. haha.

My aunt asked me to translate this whole letter about the christmas party. i did a horrible job and everyone kept laughing at me. Christmas Party is supposed to be Shen(4) Dan(4) Hui(4) and i wrote it as Shen(1) Dan(4) Hui(4) which makes it egg laying party. i was so mega embarrassed.

i am looking forward to going to school tomorrow.
a brand new day, a brand new start, a brand new beginning.

hai shi hui hai pa yi ge ren shi jui hen nan wang ji
hai shi hai pa tu ran ning yuan dang chu mei you jue ding

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-13T20:17:00.000-08:00

are you afraid of the dark?
i am. i tried walking with my eyes closed. it was just a little while, walking straight onto the other side of the road, however, it was frightening. uncertainty, fear, vagueness all adds up together and at those moments when you walk, all these feelings piles up and you open your eyes in fear, just to find that there's a straight path in front with no obstacles. pretty unpleasant isn't it? but then again, isn't that how a blind man always feel?

Lin passed on her sore throat to me. my throat hurts so much that i feel so grumpy. i suppose i'm the deadliest meow on earth now, as i inhesitantly spit out defensive and hurtful words even when i meet with the least provokative incidents. how wrong of me.

i was contemplating to go running or just lie down and sleep. in the end, i chose the easy way out.

the pain is intense and it stings constantly whenever i swallow.
even porridge turns me away.
this sick illness has successfully robbed me of my appetite.

yuan lai zai ni mian qian wei xiao na me rong yi

i miss yitian and yuan =(

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-12T23:27:00.000-08:00

tuition yesterday was rather fun. Christie and i were the only girls as the rest didn't turn up. Darren quarreled with Christie over his silly wallet, Yen Yu was going on about Daphne - it was hilarious. he's one big joker and can probably act in some chinese drama. Kelvin finally turned up. On my way home, he asked about Vanessa and then about the rest. I suspect he was asking about Christine. aha. Clement was playing a fool and i have enough reasons to believe that Patrick is rather happy that term is finally coming to an end. haha. they're all taking up the 5.30 class and i'm taking the weekend slot. rather saddening eh, i suppose the other class wouldn't be that much fun. oh well. but there's sth to look forward to - classes with Cheryl =D

meow. its an uneventful day and i'm feeling really lackadaisical.

It has been so long since we had talked
i hope that things are still the same.
hoping they will never change.
cuz what we had
can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-10T23:49:00.000-08:00

i chilled.

i padlocked Hy's wallet yesterday and tricked Lin into drinking ice lemon tea today. you should have seen both their expressions. haha

i'm wrote a report for my sister yesterday night ( i hope she fared alright ) and forgotten about the one i've to write and hand it by tomorrow. now, i have to struggle with all the research and summary. what the meow.

i'm going to study at the library again. Meow is going to teach me my amath. 98 Degrees says : Thank God I Found You.

i am almost done with my book and half way through Cards On The Table and given up on the other Agatha Christie book. Some of the stories scare me and wild thoughts come to my mind. just like Anna said, i've got wild imagination. i have to agree with her this time.

Spelling error is always common isn't it? i came across one very clear example and it goes like this - i miss you badly is mis-spelled and changed into i miss you baldy. HAHA. i can't stop laughing at it, till now. its most likely an error isn't it? if it were to be a name, it has to be spelt as Baldy right? i'm still giggling. haha

There's some meowful things going on at Valerie's tagboard. its not a very sad thing though, unless Anonymous persistantly meows at Valerie, i think its fine. "Empty vessels make the most noise" what a well said statement. both ( - ) and sp, whoever that is, can officially compete for the position and reputation of an empty vessel. I think sp will probably win, because of the very fact that she possess some high tsking ability. its a skill, perhaps. but please prepare a bucket, because we wouldn't want saliva all over, would we? haha. how humourous. makes one's day staring at such childish competition, doesn't it? chill man. if you don't like me meowing your friend like this, tell me. no biting, as lin would say, especially behind my back =) i'm an open woman. haha

courtesy is a virtue so be polite. people would agree to that won't they? i wouldn't. to certain people, a definate yes would be my answer, but to some, i disagree to a very large extent. to you, i would have to reconsider. go away.

"a thousand different voices, singing in harmony" does that sound the least awful to you? it does to me. there're so many people out there. high pitch, low pitch, rough voice, soothing voice. all add up together and it supposed to make harmony. oh god.

i can't wait to go off. i'll be able to be with my sister again. someone please tell me why i'm smiling.

time to study again. what the meow.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-09T03:21:00.000-08:00

i have the most amusing brothers ever.
they were talking and it went on like this

Ming : let's go out tomorrow
Iekka : where to?
Ming : i'm going to cut my hair. wanna come?
Iekka : go and rob the bank
Ming : together, lah
Iekka : okay.

i don't understand how they can communicate, talking pure nonsense in a monotonous voice, as though they're having a perfectly sane conversation.

Another uneventful day passed. the rain probably killed my mood, like it took away HY's.
i'm feeling really moody.
puberty, as my dear sister would say.
i love her to bits.

nothing much to blog about except my new hobby - drawing. or rather, painting. corrections. it should be drawing on paint.
beautiful.

i sat up right and thought of you
but the thoughts in my mind
were agonized and the tears in
my eye fell ; it rained, again.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-07T01:44:00.000-08:00

Shiyun's in New Zealand.

i'm feeling blah with a raging headache constipated in my head. my stomach's growling but my appetite is eaten by a bear. i don't know what i should do now, i don't know what i want to do now. watching the television is a waste of time, playing games on the computer sounds genuinely ludicrous while reading a book sounds pointless, as i'd been heavily indulged in Autobiography of a One Year Old all day, after finishing What She Wants last night. I see myself as a rather keen reader, sometimes.

my maid is indubitably wierd. she gave me my mango, walked into the kitchen and walked out after awhile spitting out some funny words in her own language and started giggling non-stop. i was shocked and as a result, mango was spreaded all over my mouth and nose. de facto, craziness.

i'd like to post everyone a question.
do fats expand?
if you know the answer, please tag me. i'm really eager to know it. thank you.

meowded. now my maid is prattling about how i get stuck in bed every morning and can't get up.

her : what time you wake up tomorrow?
me : 06.30
her : 6.30, 6.40, 6.45, 6.50, 7, 7.20, late for school.

haha. she's one funny woman.

i miss my sisters. yes, when they're not here, no one asks me to get off the computer as often, no one ticks me off for talking on the phone. but without them here, no one plays pranks, no one spits sacarsm and speak with so much humour as she does, no one talks to me as much, no one does unpredictable things, no one forces me to go out and get stuff with her, no one talks about the most nonsensical stuff on earth.

i miss my daddy too. i love my family. even though my mummy nags and bans me from basketball, my sisters scold me sometimes, my brother irritates me and my younger brother tells me to shut up, i still love them. because postivie things happen more than the negative ones do. i scanned through this person's blog the other day. she was extremely vocal about how much she hates her parents, her family, her whole entire house. her entries and whole blog never wrote a single word of thanks to her mum nor dad, nor anything about loving her siblings. its sad. why doesn't she realise that if she behaves and be good, she'll eventually get what wants? it seems to me a childish desire for more freedom. how can anyone survive, going home and locking herself in the room and yet talk about how much she loves and misses her girlfriend? typical isn't it? adolescence agony? probably. when i did was like that, i felt terrible at home, listening to everyone's laughter while i sulked and be mean to every single one who appeared in my way. oh, how much i hate myself, then. i guess the only thing i hate about life at home now is the endless battles i have to fight with the annoying mosquitoes which seem to have a very keen interest in sucking my blood.

i read this on someone's composition. it says :
when people are young, their parents are like rugby balls - everyone fights to have them. when they get older, their world start to evolve around their friends and their parents then become soccer balls - everyone pushes them away.

interesting yet true, isn't it? no one ever really treasured their family or parents did they? but throughout those period of times, whether they resembled soccer balls or rugby balls, our parents have been there for us, haven't they? treasure your family because when you lose them, you'll really regret. its a cliche, but well, its true.

nan dao zhu ding zhe shi wo men yao zou de lu
ke bu ke yi rang ni ba wo kan qing chu
bie rang wo yong yuan zui zhu
bu zao gu du
pei ni du guo yi shen de lu
zui zhen de xin fu

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-06T03:41:00.000-08:00

to all :

i'm sorry, for being quite annoying lately,
exploding much more often than usual
and unsuccessfully containing my anger,
not forgetting the fact that i've been really vocal about them.

i was talking to Debbie on MSN about talking. i love the feeling of going on and on about things and have the people around me staring at me in bewilderment, saying 'huh?' haha. it makes me feel like i'm in my own world, looking out at all those people out there, ignorant of everything i know.
but then again, i love it when i start prattling, hardly without any sense in the things i say at all and have someone understanding it. that's probably one of the main reasons why i love to talk to Wee Wee. because if the opposite party were to be someone like Claudine, she'd probably say 'stop talking nonsense' and if, unfortunately, the person i'm talking to were to be Debbie, the most i'd get is a grunt. in the worst scenario, if i were to face someone like Weejia, she'd just dismiss me with the most degrading 3 words that would make me sound stupid - 'shuddup, lah'

Open House today was rather dumb. No one turned up at the stalls and we ended up having sun burnt. Amazingly, Jaime and Ying Min actually brought sun tan lotion. wierd people. i rejected Lin's kind offer of giving me a lift home and went home alone after debrief. stopped at the wrong stop and ended up walking aimlessly from Anchorage to Queenstown station.

i guess its because of the depressing day i went through.

i really miss the beautiful days.

alright, i'll make this a short entry and end it by wishing Hy and Passerby good luck for O's, not forgetting my most beloved brother. so there.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-04T23:12:00.000-08:00

sickening.

forgive me for starting my entry with such an indignant tone. there was Open House today. Wan Ling happily called my house early in the morning and got me into a whole load of trouble. thank you very much, but i don't need that. what the hell. Addy skipped again and i had to give an impromtu presentation to all those arrogant and rude nuisances who showed no enthusiasm whatsoever. everyone of them were uncooperative and incompliant. i wanted to just tell them how immovable they were. its so meowful. i had to do everything at the eleventh hour. luckily Lin helped me out quite a bit. i probably owe her hundreds of dollars of phone bills because that kind girl always help me call everyone. thanks lin.
Kim and Debbie came to help out, but i think they walked to the wrong stall. they were stuck on the hardcourt playing TENNIS. when they came back, uh, pardon me for asking, but when in any part of the day, did they come back to help out? maybe i'm the one having memory loss. alright, let's recall. i remember seeing the two of them walking around, playing tennis and when he came, behaved and looked as though they were so very much enthusiastic about what they were suppose to be enthusiastic about and did a whole load of work. Judy, on the other hand, got meowded. what the meow.
i'm sick of it. don't throw me all the work and claim the credit, and then when the job isn't done properly, look at me and dump me all the faults. MEOWFUL.
When i arrived in the morning, i took out the photos and Anna offered to help. the very moment i wondered why she was so kind today, she spit out a string of words criticising and wanting to remove the pictures JUST because sharon and kwan's pictures are included. i couldn't find anymore pictures. not like as though we've got a private photographer and i've got 300 pictures to choose from. i'd love to see how you'd cope with a job like that.

don't you accuse me of being critical and mean with my words. you provoked me and that's that. i've been trying to be lenient with my choice of words, but i decided, that was the last straw. bitch about me all you want. i don't really give a mega damn about it.

Dung Beetle. that's interesting.

i've just showered and feel so clean. i've been so acidic these days. my temper's rising again and sad to say, i threw another silly tantrum. guilt ran me down.

i'm so glad i didn't do all the meowful things i wanted to do to you, if not i'll be feeling so guilty for ruining your life. walameow.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-04T02:57:00.000-08:00

Spoiled Girl

what the meow?

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-03T03:28:00.000-08:00

the worst day of my life

we had the bestest stuff on earth this morning and then i headed for Queenstown Library again, with Jo. called home at 5+ but mum thought i was lying and out playing. but i really wasn't.

i got myself a book to read, again. the title is What She Wants. i guess he will be glad to know that i've been indulging in reading very much these days. uh oh. i just remembered i've got presentation to do this Friday and yet i havent really started on it. i wanted to give an impromptu presentation last week, but he was kind enough to let me do it this week. he probably knows that the result would be, de facto, disastrous. what the meow.

anyway, i've been trying to be more tolerant. really trying.

ever thought why people tend to get angry and resort to retaliation and revenge?
the answer is simply because they're judged. is that fair? no. is it square to give a person one look and start saying "you are such a person because blah blah" well, NO, it isn't. it is not fair to claim that i am of such character because i did a certain thing. it isn't at all.
do not judge me, because you don't know me. dont you dare.

i am so totally not in the mood to blog.

_________________
the sky is dark
the ground is wet,
the leaves of the
trees face downwards.
i am in agony,
my tears are falling.
_________________

____fullstopdot_____

not so fast. i won't give up.
its a sacrifice, and i'll make it.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-02T03:31:00.000-08:00

after listening to the song Welcome To My Life for a few times, i guess some part of the lyrics make sense. call me fickle minded. i dont care X)

someone just told me i'm full of attitude. really? it doesn't really matter nor affect me actually. i'm not being defensive now. seriously. don't you feel that you have much more things to bother about in life rather than telling me off for my attitude problem? well, you should have. unless, you're really unengaged. i'll forgive you then, for the sad fact that you are so unoccupied. don't idle too much alright? beautify your life. sunflower seeds can make life more yellowful. cheers.

Miss Mak Says : Accept It Graciously.

yellow bus is coming.

chinese remedial was extremely boring. we had combined lesson and everyone was practically sleeping. poor Mr Ng. I talked a whole load of rubbish to Mr Siew and Mr Wong today. Mr Wong cast me the usual irritated face and pointed his finger again. hilarious.

i love the big font. its skinny and pretty. targetful, isn't it?

Lin is feeling really upset over certain things. i think i made things worst by unsuccessfully cracking a lame joke. but it really sounds funny to me. i couldn't stop laughing when i thought of it. here goes

if the word mega is a short-form, whats the longer version of it?

Answer : megawati.

hahaha. i still cant stop laughing.
okay, i had a really great day with HY at the library.
good luck for O's.

walameow.

i'm back to blog but this time i'm quitting the mega font. its too big.

something happened during dinner.

oiyi to her sister : you shu(3) what? (zodiac sign)

Iekka : shu(3) mian(2) yang(2).

get it? hahaah. sheep counting.

blah. i was helping huiyu with the thing and then so many conversations popped up. was so frantic just now, i've lost my mood to meow.

so there. goodnight world.

tomorrow will be a better day.
you promised =)

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-11-01T06:04:00.000-08:00

i'd a wonderful day. its so nice being friends and not meowing each other again.
"there's nothing outsiders can do to us if we're united inside" lets remember that.

yellow bus is coming

there're so many nice people out there.
its a nice feeling having so many people being nice to you after being dissed for some time.

everyone is quite into vocabulary these days, aren't they?
Debbie just vomited some out on her entry. haha. how unusual.
Anna stopped her meowing and Jo graciously treated her nicely.
i think i should learn to be forgiving too.
one step at a time.

i've got nothing much to say tonight.
so many thoughts inside, yet i dont feel like expressing it.
i just want to go to bed and start anew tomorrow.

the radiation is killing me.

I LOVE TEAM '03 '04 many much =D

Lin : i'm sitting at home, staring into space, searching for inspiration.

Passerby : reveal yourself =) i dont know. so many things have been happening. good luck for O's. really.

did i mention how much you matter to me?

i wish my life is as colourful as this entry.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-10-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

the most annoying thing happened in the past few days. truely antagonizing. i shalln't talk about it.

one fine day i will treat her like she's treating him, deprive her of food and water. how dare she.

sickening.

i've got a stomache.

unreasonable, absurd, illogical, reasonless, ridiculous, ludicrous, unconscionable, authouritative, crazy. you think you're witty and sarcastic, but you're actually nothing but a maniac who goes round meowing at everyone. disgusting is the best word to describe your limitless behaviour.

no, that might not be refering to you. so many people out there fits that description anyway. so stop jumping to conclusions.

i've got nothing to blog about. life is boring. i've gotta start studying again, and i shall.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-10-30T04:17:00.000-07:00

i finally got what i want, but i'm not happy at all.

i am so irritated with Anna. Anna Chen, ONE more critic, i will start and i dont know when i'll ever stop. dont you provoke me because i take it to heart. i've had enough.

If i didn't have to see whats-her-name who cant shut her gap and goes around criticising people who dont get in her way all day, i'd have the most perfect day of the week. oh well, just too bad. ah, i just remembered. is her name Anna? or is it Amba? no idea.
bloody hell, you.
after unsuccessfully ( due to Miss Unshutable's presence which makes indolence super contagious ) making the beads, I went to Ikea to get the stuff and headed to Coronation to get the photos printed. Open house is energy dissolving. what the meow.
if you won't stop it, i will continue with my impolite way of talking. and this is not an empty threat.

meow. i am so furious. the thought of it just turned me off. but i'll cool down.
Miss Mak says : Accept it graciously. but she's so poor thing, having to face such an indignant denial.

Simple Plan says Welcome To My Life. the lyrics of the song goes like this :

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurtTo feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's likeTo be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

remarkably meaningless. thats what it seems to me.
life is full of ups and downs, and everyone would definately wish they were someone else or have as much as someone else, sometimes. A princess would wish she has as much freedom and lead as simple a life as a commoner, but so many people out there call themselves princesses. watched too much Princess Diaries? absolutely boring.
find me a person who doesn't feel left out, who doesn't envy someone else, who havent been backstabbed or left alone.
if you really love this song because of its lyrics, think again.

i am too tired to blog, nor can i be bothered to screen other people's blogs. it makes me feel like a teacher marking student's compositions, where they write about the same thing over and over again.

__till then.

wo ni de shou
jian chi dao zui hou yi miao zhong
na pa ai yao bing liang le
zhi shao rang hui yi shi nuan de
liao jie bi ai nan duo le
wo men dou jing li le
ye xu wen rou
shi ting zhi wan liu

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

meow

2004-10-28T01:48:00.000-07:00

BACK OFF.

i am in the most terrible mood ever and dangerous thoughts tend to come to my mind. to prevent a tragedy, do not provoke.

meow. i'm feeling much better.

She's someone i know i can turn to whenever i'm feeling down. She's someone who'd always been there for me, whenever i need her. She's someone who never gets irritated with my never-ending calls sometimes. She's eccentric and loves to wear extremely short FBT shorts to attempt to expose her legs and long sleeves when the weather is 33 Degrees that make it seems as though she's trying to be more humble about her incredibly fit body. She never pays much attention to anything much, except her studies, track, her Highness(es), and of course, The Queen. =) She's special, and she makes me feel special. She's my bestest friend, my most treasured Yitian.

She's a feathered being, a person who never fails to nag non-stop. The one with the most hightly attained eye power whose one look can change my decisions. She's someone who'd always been there for me, whose name is created by me. Maybe because of her uncommon personality, we seem to get on very well. She understands, and is one whom i can talk to whenever i'm bored, whenever i'm feeling green, blue, orange, purple, or even colourless. She's someone who understands my self-invented language, and my never ending walameows and sees through my fathomless thinking. She's an extraordinary individual, who makes her stand and stay tall. She's HY, our motherbird - the one outstanding person who made so much of a difference in my life.

She is the biggest part of my life. She makes my life complete. She gives me strength, determination, motivation. She's one i cant live without. She'd stood by me during the roughest phases of my life and gave me hope whenever i feel hopeless. She's indescribable, incomparable. She's my kimberly, one of the greatest friend i've made in my whole entire life.

They are really great friends and had always been there whenever i needed them, like the rest. We had our differences, our quarrels and many sarcasm sparing sessions. But the most important factor that makes them stand out from the others is that they don't bear grudges whenever i scream at them at random after a bad day. Yes, i am immensely thankful and greatful to have such great friends and I've to admit that i wouldnt have walked so briskly through school and personal life if they weren't there for me all the time. They treat me so nicely, attend to my demands, constantly give in to my almost unreasonable requests and tolerate my interminable whinning and relatively atrocious bad temper. To Miss Grumpy : Although you've changed slightly and unfailingly spit out unacceptable vulgarities around the clock and suddenly seem to acquire the new habit of yelling at people recklessly, i still appreciate you all the same. Thank you Anna, Debbie and Jo, the very predominant figures of my life.

dot + dot + curve. thats what i think of whenever i think of her. Her hair is messier than mine, her face is more stone-like than Clare's. Her thoughts are deep and talking to her never fails to soothe my rising emotions. Uh oh. I'm loss for words. Will someone teach me how to describe Lin?

Thrash talking between us is as frequent as you see daylight and nonsensical ideas come out of her mind so naturally that its unbelievable. My everyday life evolves around that indolent girl, who would never spend some time learning just a bit of vocabulary. Her quiet appearance decieves almost everyone but despite her abnormal character, she has an enormous heart that melts people as she relentless stretch out her hand to people in need. No doubt, she's the Guider of the Ear : Wee Wee, the most successful thrash-talk partner i've ever had in my whole life.

its time for my compulsory beauty sleep. my apologies for stopping half-way without completing my review of the others.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-10-26T03:13:00.000-07:00

blogger's back to normal. i can blog by my own now. its a great feeling.

its finally over. maybe its too late to say that, but who cares.

we went to the soyabean factory, crocodile farm and hydroponic farm. It was rather boring, but the crocodile farm experience was really traumatising. imagine staring at an animal twice your size eating a bunch of chicken heads. absolutely gross. i'm a herbivore, oh please.

i meowded at Anna and Jo today. I was playing ball in school and asked if they were training. Anna just said that Debbie forbids her to. i cant imagine how this can actually happen. blame it on Debbie? maybe just partly. but how in the world can someone's determination level be that low. now i understand what Anna meant when she said that she's trying not to get influenced by people anymore. oh well, your attempt failed. or maybe, they were just afraid of the mega thunder-struck face that Debbie would give if they rejects the idea of going out. excuse me, but you need individual thinking sometimes you know. because you're an individual. are you her Genie or what. or does she have a remote control that says ANNA like the one in Stanford's Wives. if you dont even wanna train, then stop complaining about the fact that you're not able to and that you really want to. its so totally NATO (No Action Talk Only), as HY'd say.

outrageous.

i so totally cant be bothered with that meow. oh please, dont think that just because you've got the darkest and "blackest" face that's as dark as lunar eclisp, you can cast it as and when you like. it doesnt work with me. we can compare who can play Bao Gong better.

i am so tired and its making me grumpy. but of course, it cant be compared to Miss Grumpy. she'd reached the highest level of grumpiness that no one can overpower her grumpiness. Debbie can testify that fact. she's always grumpy, 24/7. there's an advantage - you'll have really strong muscles at the area near your eyebrows. =)

i'm too exhausted to even type. i havent eaten much since 7 this morning. its a miracle i even survived.

so there.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

dont-know-why

2004-10-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

you : i guess you've got your own life now, your own importance, your own people whom probably really love and all. but its just so upsetting. it seems like i'm the only doing everything, trying to save this whole thing. its tiring, trying to get us to talk. hopefully things will get better, because if it doesnt, there'll be this lil tiny hole in bits of happiness. wtm

walameow. special thanks to hy for helping me post this. my computer is still down and blogger is still dead. i'm off to do my presents now. Halloween is a very big challenge to my skills. asthetics, is that what you call that? 'oh whatever' (quote from debbie)

yes, that was me, trying to talk with a tone that's full of attitude. but of course, the original is definately much better and more skillful than i am. ask debbie about that.

thats the first step to trying to be nice and not criticise too much. i typed a whole chunk of mean stuff to some sickening people who. i better stop. i'm starting it again. i'm was very angry person just now, but i managed to squeeze my anger and push it down my throat. miss mak says : Accept It Graciously. alright then. anyway, i deleted it. everyone will be proud of me. i'm trying to be nice. comments anybody? Anna excluded. she's full of them. haha.

i'm schooling tmr. its time for hard work. solid hard work. meow, now.

i'm still feeling very red. my whole face is warm, but i'll cool down. by myself this time. aha. no claudine, no adele, no wee wee. all by myself. Bernice says : "I am independent" so am i, now. =)

walameow. time for some decent stuff. sleeping is my second favourite time of the day. boohula.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

NOT accepting facts.

2004-10-13T16:10:00.000-07:00

HY detest blogs. & HY dont do it. but for the bulldozer aka whinner aka meow queen's sake, i shall betray myself.
i've been waitin' & waitin' for that bloody mail from tong. but it doesnt wanna come. i need my bath. & my nap. my fav disciple knows me well enough to know that..
that's my routine.
TONG: its hard to bump into u in sch altho ur butt can be seen from quite.. far. kinda miss you hahaa that's a fact. im waiting for that day. u know which day.. hahaa..
..whereby all we talked bout is bball. =D

_will be back to post tong's.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

Accepting facts.

2004-10-13T01:38:00.000-07:00

Spending another night alone
Wondering when I'm gonna ever see you again
Thinking what I would give
To get you back, baby
I should have told you how I felt then
Instead, I kept it to myself, yes
I let my love go unexpressed
'Til it was too late
You walked away

Was it something I didn't say
When I didn't say, "I Love You"
Was it words that you never heard
All those words I should have told you
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to
Was it something I didn't say

Always assumed that you'd be there
Couldn't foresee the day you'd ever be leaving me
How could I let my world
Slip through my hands, baby
I took for granted that you knew, yeah
All of the love I felt for you, yeah
I guess you never had a clue
'Til it was too late
You walked away

Was it something I didn't say
When I didn't say, "I Love You"
Was it words that you never heard
All those words I should have told you
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to
Was it something I didn't say

All the words were in my heart
They went unspoken
Baby, now my silent heart
Is a heart that's broken
Shoulda said so many things
Shoulda let you know
You're the one I needed near me
But I never let you hear me

i screwed my A Math paper. i'm so upset now. everything's gone. every bit of hardwork, every inch of comfort, everything. its Accounts tmr and i'm gonna burn the midnight oil again. i've been studying SO hard, and failing is so disappointing that i feel like a failure. i cant get anything right, and i even lost you. its all too disspiriting, i dont wanna think about it.

Debbie asked me to stay in school to study again, but i had paper. i guess she went to look for anna or sth and they went dont know where to hang out as always. i dont understand.

i gotta go offline now.

__i will still smile, no matter how shattered i am inside.

to TONG from HY: this.. kinda weird thing is done. im back THIS fast. hahaa. blithe with my bloggin? sorry i couldnt find da button to underline your words with. yea. see ya.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-10-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

school was fun. chinese was first period, followed by English. I did maths all the way till 10.30. i received a blastful blow during accounts. Boss didnt come to school today, so miss wong took over. i continued to do my math, till SS. Mr Tan gave us mega information and school ended. short, sweet and simple. i love to go to school nowadays. i love to know that i'm doing maths all day, trying hard. i love to know that i'm studying hard for exams. i love the studious me.

i think she has a problem. everytime she walks pass me she has to TSK for no reason. does the problem lies with her mouth or is it just the normal behaviour of a deranged person? oh well, you never know.

ice cream-cream sucks. i think Debbie will understand that. i've got nothing to blog about these days. i sent my stuff already but the person didnt reply. i'd love to smack him/her in the face. whatthemeow.

debbie is constantly uttering rubbish which apparently makes a lot of sense to her. shaking forward and backwards, saying hu-ha-hu-ho-ha-hey-hey-hey-hu-ha-hey-hoi-ho is probably the thing she wants to do at this moment, apart from turning off the radio when my favourite song is being played. she've found another hobby. a very interesting one.

I SHALL BE FORGIVING. ms mak says : accept it graciously.
Boss says : you reap what you sow.
chey.com

please make some sense.

Claudine is working very hard, admiring artistic works, blind to visible distractions.

thank Debbie. because its a name.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-10-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

i had a relatively wonderful day. recess was spent with kwan =) and the rest of the day helping Clare decide where she would go to after school and during the recesses that will come. Dara was quite depressed all day and that meant peace. Midori and i had a lil dancing session. Chemistry was great and time practically flew past. After school, i stayed behind to study till 4, then head for Physics remedial.

i left my bag and books in the hands of Debbie. when i came back, i saw a wet version of my A-Math textbook. some inconsiderate hell of a meow dumped her drink there and it happened, happily. Were you trying to call for rain through the water cycle to make it a less humid day? how very thoughtful of you. dont fret. your philanthropic act of unsuccessfully attempting to share your water with the atmosphere is recognised. you can go home with a happy heart and a stained conscience knowing that you have wet my book, which is so precious to me and is greatly needed during this period of time. luckily, i taped my book and now its alright. BUT i'd like to ask a question. have you wasted your 8 years of education or what? did you learn science for no purpose whatsoever? its visibly so, because you dont even know that water condenses. obviously, you need a lot of revision. being rich enough to buy a cup of drink and not want it doesnt entitle you the right to place cups around, so please, stop that atrocious habit of yours. that would make you a more magnanimous soul, since you arent one at all =). cultivating virtues is a tedious process. take one step at a time. i thank you, from the very heart of my bottom.

Debbie has a indispensibly huge problem with everyone. she keeps asking 'what's your problem' and is actively involved with the word 'whatever.' dont you know that its kinda rude to say those things. i mean, you sound like as though you've got an enormous attitude problem. or is it that its just the way your teacher taught to start a conversation and "open" a sentence? meowded.

i feel so disturbed. everything is changing. everyone is changing. Jo changed. Anna's so indifferent to everything nowadays. Kwan and Sharon and Eric left, putting a fullstop to my most perfect days. Some are uncommitted to the game, skipping training and all while others are uncommitted to the team. There's no more bond. The sec ones seem more together than the current B'Div is. Debbie's somehow different and Shiyun is more distant than ever. Bunny's not coming with valid reasons, but somehow she seems less interested while Liwei is perpetually busy with her social life and circle of girlfriends. Minus Huiyu, who is eternally missing, as always. Take away small sylvia - her absence level is comparable to Huiyu's (which cannot be condoned). OUR team has now become THE team. No one is bothered about anything in relation to it anymore. Miss Mak even raised the point that its SO hard to get us to get together. I guess thats one of the reasons Boss is unceasingly upset with us sometimes. I miss Eric. I miss Basketball. I miss the US, the WE and not the THEM, the THEY and the ME. its so upsetting. Anna, Jo, Kim, Debbie and I would always hang out. Sharon, Kwan, HY, Addy, Lam, Bel and I would always meow together. but its all gone. it has now become Anna and her lil friends, Addy and her Amanda+Iris, Bel and her company, Jo and her lil bits of meowdedness, Debbie and her growing temper + never-ending black face to everyone, me and my temper and HY+Lam and their O's. i guess Kim's the only who stayed and not strayed. thats probably the reason why Boss favours her so much. she's committed, responsible, able, good and ever-willing to learn. Plus whenever things go wrong between me and him, she's always there.

why do things have to become like this? why does it have to reach this state? why does it have to be so sickening, so upsetting, so ... dreadful. i'm not saying i'm perfect, but i'm trying to change. i meow people less often, and toleration is slowly sinking into me, though very slowly. but the point is, why do we have to be so distant? cant Shiyun come for training more often? cant they socialise less often? cant small sylvia and huiyu come constantly? cant everyone just not drift away? i dont understand.

you may say that it cannot take your life away though you love it, you may choose to say its just recreation to you. in my point of view, you cannot criticise Judy, if your passion level is not as high as hers nor can you talk about Zhenyi, if you dont train as much as her. and for goodness sake, dont meow about Sue Li when you dont even turn up for training as often as she does. by the way, her attendence is 100%. Hasnt attitude, passion and commitment been the most important towards Basketball? since when did socialisation stepped into the picture?

i think i'm starting to get the picture why Boss is taking over the Sec ones and isnt really bothered with us. do you? cant we all make an effort to be part of the team? cant we all make an effort to be more passionate? its such a sad story. i wished everyone of you'd think over it. not being able to train is a misery. i've tasted it.

pocahontas says : And we are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop that never ends.

I Love STC Basketball Team'03 '04

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____ourstcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-10-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

i have to depend on lin to blog again. oh man blogger sucks.

we had science practical. it was hilarious. i had blotches all over my paper, my graph paper had a hole in the middle, burnt myself, unintentionally sat at the wrong table and screwed Rui Shan's experiment, accidentally spilt chemicals all over myself and didnt even realise when my test-tube holder caught fire. just when i thought i was the most clumsy person who ever existed, Felicia's bottle of chemical broke and Dara and Sherlyn's test-tube cork popped and flew away. oh wow.

we all got the same thing. its so cool man. i'm so happy.

dearest Anna is feeling down beated about certain things. but you cant change them you know? i learnt that i cant change someone who is changed, but i can try to accept that person and try to lead her back. it takes time, and patience. i guess thats why i learnt it the hard way. i know that its difficult for you, but just try to be at peace with yourself alright? being mean to everyone sometimes tires yourself out too. but anyway, you are a good Anna. i so totally wish you are back.

HY : i so totally feel like pinching you now.

debbie : although you are the most most most most most unspontaneous, unsporting, unsupportive meow ever, i still meow you and thanks for being nice OKAY? because there is a hidden cat in your cabinet. aha

claudine : i dont say this to you everyday, but i really enjoy being with you, your presence and your company. meow NOW.

strawberriesrock.com

you : we may have made up, cleared the dark smoke in the air, but somehow it seems that you're not even at the very least, happy to patch up. it seem like a one sided thing. i mean, it takes two hands to clap right? i really dont know what to say and how to put my feelings into words, but i treasure this friendship to an extent that i approached you, even after so long. i hope things will turn out for the better, because i guess i just cant really let everything go.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-09-12T01:17:00.000-07:00

blogger is being really sickening. to make entries, i've to depend on nice old Lin. oh how very irritating

nothing much happened during this holiday. actually, only one thing struck me hard and i'll never blow up again. well, at the very least, i'll try to keep my temper cooled.

camp was very fun. i shared tent with Laura and Anissa. Anissa and I had a lot of time together because both of us were in charge of meals and cooking during the BBQ. we had to cut fruits for everyone and in the end, i ate all the apples up. haha. totally hilarious. you should have seen her frolicsome reaction. everyone was dying for their phones because Mr Sng took it away for safe keeping. did i forget to mention Anissa's undying loyalty to our group's flag and her unbeatable desire to be on shift. she simply refused to go to bed and kept telling us to go and sleep while she and Bahiah talked about the most gut-busting stuff under the dark blue sky and the shimmering stars. i'd a great time with Laura too, talking through the night. she's a very nice person, though she'll look much more happier if she beams more often. well, the thing that struck me when i saw her and Anissa were their smiles. Anissa had a really bright smile and never-ending energy while Laura had a pair of beautiful dimples and may i say, inextinguishable depression. Jiabao and Fawn made entertainment present at all times, while Krystal had that bored face all the time. i'd to spend 2 entire days with a very disagreeable person, but i survived. in fact, we all did.

we had to do survival cooking - cooking on the grass patch beside the field by digging a hole and gathering dried leaves. it was sucha back breaking activity and everyone's food had either soil or sand in it. Sharon's noodles had bits and pieces of dirt while my group's was hard. urgh. a very unpleasant once in a life time experience, i'd say. at the very least, we had supper. Anissa makes wierd faces and funny expressions that keep me constantly laughing. her phrases were out-of-meaning but somehow, in one way or another, make sense. i simply cant understand how her complicated mind works. Sharon was in an ultra terrible mood on the second day of camp.maybe its because of the torture she had to go through all day and all night inside her tent. oh well.poor thing. on the last day of camp, which is Monday, i had to go for remedial until 1 plus. what the meow. my energy level was fading away like flowing water, but i was happy because i got to see my class mates once again, especially Clare. that Monday marked the final lesson we were ever gonna have with Miss Lim. i believe we'll all miss her. i believe i can fly. i believe i can touch the sky.

there was English Orals on Tuesday and i had Miss Sim as my examiner. i almost died from relief. i talked nothing but pure nonsense, like 'if you eat lemon, you'll get yellow skin. apples? no side effects.' her unending laughter somehow made me less nervous, but i ended up talking more rubbish.

the rest of the week, i spent much of my time reading and hiding in the toilet. i fell ill. i suspect its food poisoning and not the anticipated flow i'm expecting.

okay. my brother told me this and i felt that its funny. here goes : when left is right and right is left, what is right when left if wrong? i simply cant stop laughing.

confession of the day : i havent emailed my sister.

anyway, i better get going. yitian is in for a big surprise. she's kayaking now. i hope she gets flipped over.

one last thing. Thank you Lin, for being kind enough to help me post.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-09-02T01:13:00.000-07:00

He* just called and told my aunt that i'm a good girl, with exceptions when my temper rises. how cool is that?

camp is on saturday and i'm feeling all mixed up. it seems rather fun, going for a camp, meeting new people and all, but at the same time, i feel that i dont mix well with people whom i dont know. at least Sharon Tong's there.

its holidays next week. how cool can that be?

i hope everyone will benefit from this, because i know i definately will. and this is esp for Debbie, as promised -:
Word Of The Day ( Thursday) : Loquacious - talkative
Wednesday : Perspicacious - good at judging and understanding people and situations.
Tuesday : Pestilential - extremely annoying/unpleasant
Monday : Pester Power - the ability that children have to make their parents do/buy things for them by asking again and again.

cool enough? i believe i possess pester power to a certain extent. oh well.

school was so good today that it seemed exceptionally short. half of chinese lesson was taken by this nonsense talk, and we had this game during English to practise for Orals. i had quite some fun talking rubbish. recess came rather quickly as time was flying on a plane. after recess, it was Accounts, followed by Maths and then SS. i sat with Clare during Math lesson. you cant imagine how elated i was to find my seat taken by Boss. it gave me an opportunity to sit with Clare at the back. aha. SS was quite alright. i dripped some disappearing ink on Julie and she screamed at the sight of the blue ink on her sleeve. guess how hard clare and i were laughing. she's the most gullible person i've ever seen, other than my cousin. i once told her during Chemistry lesson in the lab that if she touched the chemicals, her fingers would corrode. she believed me and kept away from them until Clarissa told her that it was just a joke. the expression on her face made me feel so sated that i left school a happy person.

Anna was behaving like an intoxicated chatterbox. she yakked non stop all day and she did the most pestilential thing on earth that i would not forgive myself if i forgive her. therefore, i solemnly swear on your limbs that i'd not speak to you today. meow.

i feel that i'm losing strength. but i will find it back. i will get it all back, and i will be on the top again. i will make that happen. no one can force anything into me, nor can anyone force anything outta me. i will, and i mean it.

dont be a malingerer and skip trainings okay. be thankful that you're able to go.
http://iloveteam.com/always/meow/fullstopdot

i've been so indolent that i cant believe how much i'm lagging behind everyone. i've set a new rule for myself - no more putting off work till tomorrow and getting it undone. okay clare?

i was trying to tell Debbie about the harm of eating fast food and the cruelty of eating those yucksy incy whincy pennies. now that i've reached a conclusion, i have something to annouce to everyone : Debbie is the most inattentive listener who'd rather stare into a book than listen to a living human. not only is she expressionless, her inscrutability has left me most unsatisfied. before you metastasize into someone like MALABIBI MACDONALD (inside joke), i hereby swear on your toes that i will get the message into that malevolent brain of yours someday.

i have to send an email to my dearest most beloved and gorgeous sister. so much for now everyone. but i'm replying my tags before i publish this post.

Val`27 : of course i remember you. i've been fine. i havent seen you for so long. you take lotsa care yea? chill//

Maria : hey you back =)

Hy : the devine are of beauty cannot be shown by actions nor words. it cannot be seen by human's naked eyes as it is inner beauty that the Meow Queen possesses, so therefore dot com slash fullstop dot

passerby : i've been, as i said in my entry, indolent and i feel so very guilty about it. but the new ground rule is set and i know things'll be just fine =) thanks!

the fact that my brother is telling me to get off the computer shows that i have no choice but to disobey my new rule. i guess i've to send the mail tomorrow. =( what the meow.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-31T04:38:00.000-07:00

Baby tell me where'd you ever learn
To fight without saying word
Then waltz back into my life
Like it's all gonna be alright

Don't you know how much it hurts
When we don't talk
When we don't touch
When it doesn't feel like we're even in love
It matters to me
When I don't know what to say
Don't know what to do
Don't know if it really even matters to you
How can I make you see
It matters to me

Maybe I still don't understand
The distance between a woman and a man
So tell me how far it is
And how you can love like this
'Cause I'm not sure I can

When we don't talk
When we don't touch
When it doesn't feel like we're even in love
It matters to me
When I don't know what to say
Don't know what to do
Don't know if it really even matters to you
How can I make you see
It matters to me

it really matters.

Its teachers day and i havent bought any gift yet. met Mrs ___ and there was this very awkward pause between us. oh what the meow. the celebration was quite meowded. a facetious skit, some screamings and a video that missed out Mr Eric and consist blurred faces of the teachers. how interesting.

Cheryl's loquacious gang were admiring Julie and her lavish dressing and hooting as usual. Claudine wore a blue plaited dress over a skillfully ironed white blouse. what a loyal convent girl. the whole team agreed on jeans yesterday but Qian Ru, Sock Lin, Hui Yu and Shi Yun turned up in skirts. how i wish i can see Liwei in one someday. wish i may, wish i might. i was a leave, Anna was a tree trunk, Kim was an orange, Joanne was dark red soil, Bel was a bright apple, Hy and Addy were clouds and Debbie was a massive black hole. all to do with Nature. what a faithful nature lover i am.

when Eric arrived this morning, everyone treated him like some Mandy Moore guy. everyone went gaga over him. i suspect the human traffic jam was caused by his very prescence. oh well. we've got a very attractive coach. what can we do? had some time with him. it felt so great to be sitting with the team again, with him. totally cool. Miss Mak was in a mood and Mr Patrick said we're so pretty. but of cuz, pretty who? pretty ___ (fill it up) TAG ME!

after that, i played some ball and left. was kinda meowded.

i hope everyone will practise philanthropy. we must never be over contented and so satisfied with life that we forget to help others right? Boss says 'you reap what you sow.'

i've got more equipments to carry out my pranks. world, its prank time.

i've got nothing to blog about because life is just a fast forwarding video with vapid events that i've to go through in a lackadaisical manner. what a tiring process. its a sad thing to lose your voice on a holiday eve is it not? apparently, it is.

it matters to me* ____________somewhereOutThere.

dearest perspicacious HY : you better take care of yourself. watch for signs of sickness like the sudden lessening of feathers.

Debbie : you will be considered pestilential unless you answer my question that i posted above. ( line meow, ___fill it up corner )

Anna : i shall consider your answer as truth. because, obviously its the truth right?! cor-right. hahaha

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-30T04:42:00.000-07:00

HY : its just an allergy. i mean, i'll feel red when i see red. its CERTIFIED by DR Meow. so no doubts its true. so blame nobody.

i have SO many things to tell my sister. but i just dont have any time to write her an email. my dear brother suggested that Blogger is changed to Bugger because im taking his time. meow.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-29T00:42:00.000-07:00

i've got nothing to blog about. life is sucha bore. i havent been studying much these days. maybe i'm getting complacent. i shall start studying from tomorrow onwards. okay. its all set.

You are Blue Koala, who is extremely honest person, and will say things that come up in your mind straightly. You are also active and very cheerful. You also possess feminine attraction and have distinguished atmosphere.You are very popular, and tend to be with lots of people. You value your friends too. But unlike your outlook, you don't like to loose and are a strong-minded person.You possess strong will-power, and are independent enough to carry things out without getting the help of the others. You have great creativity sense and are much talented in this.You act simply, but you possess complicated inner emotions. You may be thought little bit eccentric. You like to lead varied life, and try to change the atmosphere yourself too.You can make quick decisions, and possess courage. You are well liked by both men and women. You have great sense of instinct and can get right at the point of things. You can affect people as well.You are very strict on money. You will not go buying things on impulse.Someone you love and your love life is what is most important to you in your life. You possess great natural skill to manipulate men. You should not rush into marriage after a passionate love.

objections?

HY : sorry. it was the flow that was making me sucha meow. i mean, i turned red when i saw red, thats why i was so red. dont be angry anymore okay. being petty endangers your life. please chill.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-25T03:38:00.000-07:00

passerby : well, you're right that i cant force them to be involved and committed to Basketball. but however much i try not to bother about their level of commitment and passion for the game, i am very much annoyed with the way they make Basketball a game 'unworthy' for them and take it so lightly. when they feel like coming, they come. when they feel like quitting, they quit. it somehow irks me. i mean, i really wish that we can be our small little happy family like we used to be. happy, united, close and attached to the game, the team and everyone in it. it was all so perfect but now we are splitting, and we're spitting at each other, hurling insults and criticizing each other. i feel sad. i miss the us, the we. its difficult to admit but im sorry people, for blowing up like this. its their life. they choose what they wanna do. if this sounds discourteous and angry, sorry. but it wasnt meant to be.

my sister and daddy left for New York today and i had my flow at full blast this morning. was in quite a disagreeable mood but i didnt lose my temper. amazing aint it? i even swallowed the scolding that Debbie gave me and walked away, trying to smile. achievement?

dear daddy and Na, ______________

_______________________________

_______(fill it up). i miss you all and love you always.

love,

Tong.

family orientation is important.

shiyun said something that struck me. our conversation went like this

me: everytime i try to fly, i fall. without my wings i feel so small. shiyun : lets look at it another way. you have legs and you can at least walk some distance.*

'i have legs and i can at least walk some distance.' does it sound meaningful to you at all? the sentence somehow struck me and made me gather some thoughts. i take everything for granted. everything ranging from food to Basketball. when i get angry, i stomp my feet and hit things around me. but how would i vent my anger if i happen to be crippled? when i feel agitated, i'd start to grumble and insult the other party. but how would a mute person quarrel or voice her anger? when i'm in bad moods, i lock myself from others and stay away from people, sometimes, even my parents. but what if i were an orphan? when i'm lazy, i lie on the chair and read all day, unwilling to walk 15mins to the court. but what if i were someone who is injured and cant go for any exercises? when i'm provoked, i criticize, i mock and i make other people's life a living hell. but what if i were the one getting bullied? when i'm full, i dont finish my food and throw my half filled cup of drink away. but what if i were from Iraq, and have nothing to eat or drink? when i'm too tired, i ask my maid to take my things for me. but what if i were someone else's maid, or what if i were in a family trapped in financial difficulty?

when will i learn to start to appreciate and to treasure? when will i learn to not take things for granted?

its time for change.

problem : how to gain a positive change in character, temper and attitude

solution : eat some Moral Fibre.

'spread out your wings and tell yourself to fly. when you open your eyes, you'll be soaring high'

Mr Patrick : i'm sorry for not leading by example. please forgive us.

TEAM : 'And we are all connected to each other. In a circle, in a hoop that never ends.' i'm sorry for being bad tempered and hot headed all the time. i'll try to change. thanks for being tolerant.

lin: i'm sorry.

iloveYou i'll keep a part of you with me, and everywhere i am, there you'll be. thanks for being right there for me. huggs.

green rocks. because the grass is green.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-24T03:00:00.000-07:00

if you wanna quit because you think you're causing trouble, you're only causing more harm than good.

Judy: if you think you wanna be a tracker, i totally meow you. because all you sweet nothings about having the bball passion is nothing but pure garbage. i saw you differently as others because i felt that you have more passion and commitment. but apparently i was wrong.

for goodness sake, STOP being weak and STOP hurting yourself because of some little matters that happen in your life. you are a baller for nuts. you're supposed to be stronger in mental strength and physical abilities. oh please.

Zhen Yi : stop trying to be difficult. if you have a problem with anyone, speak to the person right in her face. stop being so meowish. you're being worst than anyone of them whom you're criticising. excuse me, we come in peace. meowded.

i just want us to be a happy bball family again. no internal destructions, nobody trying to break friends up, no one trying to create rumours, nobody being mean to her team mates, no one being drifted, no split personalities, no signs of weakness, no one being bad, everyone being nice to everyone, no one thinking abt quitting. and everyone committed to the team, and in loving the game.

stop the rubbish about everything. look at amanda. she's nice now and she's passionate. judy? she's indifferent. wan ling? she's hardworking. Shuli, Brina, Adella? they're committed. lin? she's always trying. what about you?

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

TheCupSoVeryStink.

[Pocahontas]
You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
Now can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name
You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

my day was simple and short. i was late for school. after a day of massive workload, nature finally called for me during CME and i went to the toilet for exactly 10 mins. Bernice and Clare were quite unhappy today. and i'm sorry Midori, for venting my anger on you. Sharon Tong reminded me of some work i have to complete. it is a very crucial piece of assignment as it concerns my peace tomorrow. oh well, i've got conscience. Cheryl Foo was being ridiculous today and Melissa talked non-stop. Anna mistook me for a Gossip Magazine Editor and the most striking incident of the day was undeniably _______. (the unspeakable) i finally completed all my chinese homework. corrections. long-overdued chinese homework. tomorrow i'll hand them in. its quite a sad day actually, i mean, Clarissa has got red braces while there are people out there with no sense of humour nor any bit of creativity at all so much so that they have to try to imitate people and learn, unsuccessfully, to speak like those they 'admire'. then thanks for admiring me . imeowyou right back. stupid copy meow with no sense of creativity nor any talent in any inventions of any sort. i'm starting to wonder if there is any brains in you at all. of course, my resources allowed me to recognise who you are - the biggest brainless git.

i strongly believe that Mother Bird went for feather plucking competition. she's so much neater lately.

achievement : i resisted the temptations of being evil to The Majestic One. ( lin'll understand this)

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-21T02:31:00.000-07:00

uh oh. i'm in for some trouble so i think i better tone down a lil. i mean, its gonna meow me down.

i'm so very tired. FINALLY completed my lit work.

meowded.
okay.
its
parralax
error
man.

i'm watching the first bball game against HIJ and i had to cover my eyes half the time because the person recording, who is none other than Hui Yu, happily kept shaking. half the time, the camera is either shooting the floor or the refree. sometimes, a bunch of Mr Eric's hair. and there's a rythmn - the camera follows the beat and moves up and down as Kwan bounces the ball. you sure do have good shooting skills man. may i raise a question?

were you having a nervous breakdown that you kept trembling? if you did, chill. and thanks for the headache you're causing me =) aha.

i have to stop watching before my brain crawls outta my ears. spare me somebody.
oh, did the same person video the SAC game? meowded. chill huiyu. kidding.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-20T04:04:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO ALL : my tagboard IS working. but its invisible, as in the words that you tag.
how to tag : do the usual - name, link, message and click Kaboom to tag. a lil window or something will pop out. click YES. and your message will be there.

its saddening. we all talked today. i wish we can be whatever we were last year. at least the present sec 2 and 3s? everyone's drifting away. i mean, i'm sorry if i was harsh on my part in my words. but, its very difficult to accept the change in you, the change in the bonding and unity of the whole team. i mean, i'm sorry. how i wish hy's here. and please, no borrowing. she's OURS. you cant simply BAR her from competition just like THAT.

my blog started to work as suddenly as it stopped working. what the meow. if i was rude and hurtful, i'm sorry. maybe its the abrupt change in you that made me give an answer made in anger.

i'm starting to think again. people often lose their most precious because they tend to overlook their presence, and take them for granted. taking things for granted is a sin that everyone is bound to commit, including myself.

i'd lost a close friend to Foolishness. she and i were primary and secondary school mates. Both of us were in Band. we went to school and back together everyday as we lived so very near to each other. i started to neglect her. and all of a sudden, she migrated to Canada. but now and then, she still calls and sends me letters, photos, cards, etc. (how very sweet =) )but what i regret most is the hurt i've inflicted upon her and the times i've caused her much pain. i'd like to make use of this opportunity to say sorry to you, Klaimon. i really hope we can keep our friendship, even if its a long distant one.

everyone knows how to say 'treasure all around you before you lose them.' but only few know the real meaning of it. because those are the only ones who really treasure their love ones.

i've decided to practise what i preach : 'dont find joy at the expense of someone else's pain.' okay then, i shall stop hurling insults at you. but please make your stand and stop being such a meow - pretending to care for people and at the end of the day make use and take advantage of them or even meow about others who have been nice to you. thats called image manupilation, and its wrong. like my brother always says, 'practise some moral integrity.'

oh i so love him to bits.

its like, jay rocks.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-17T02:01:00.000-07:00

i'm jaying. its CD time. i'm sure Hy'll love it to absolute bits.

chinese paper was rather easy, except the comprehension part. i was totally writing rubbish. to think i even thought that by learning and studying hard, i could probably get first in class. well, i wouldnt be humble and say that i dont want to be the top student in class like Julie or Cheryl. i mean, who wouldnt?

its a contradiction. everyone speaks of not studying for the paper, or not intending to study for the tests. it seems to both me and anna that many people often think that not studying is cool and studying is for nerds. it is a ridiculous idea. how absolutely silly. does that means that the whole team is full of nerds (with exceptions* of course) but those who play truant are cool? well, i think not.

in the society, CEOs and Managers of companies are the cool people (with a secured job, a fixed/increasing salary and no worries over financial difficulties) and the people who walk around having nothing to do or having resort to immoral doings like stealing and robbing to get around with life are the ones who are really pathetic. lets say they've been all given a chance to recieve education. in my point of view, the "nerds" are the CEOs and the "cool dudes" are those who skip school. maybe it doesnt makes sense to you, but to me, it is an example that is full of meaning.

think about it. everyone's hating school, homework, tests and all. everyone thinks its really cool to not study. but who are the coolest people in the school? to me, its those who really get good grades and are balanced in life, as well as happy. but few can achieve that. because only the few are the most hardworking ones.

i admit, i am a pure lazy git. but as my sister always says, 'at least i try right!'

belated birthday wishes to Miss Mak. i'm sure you had fun yesterday. aha

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

i feel so scared. fearful of the future and what lies ahead of it. do you ever realise that of all the times you dread school, you will wake up one day and wish that you could go back to schooling days, that when everything around you gets too perfect ( you have cash, friends, family and absolute fun ) you will take things for granted?

too many times in life, i've lost opportunities. and too many times in life, i've taken many things for granted. its difficult. how can i choose? if its choice 1, i'd be happy now. if its choice2, i'd be happier in future, but in the mean time and the nearing periods, i'd be filled with nothing but misery.

i'd often wonder what it would be like to have everything sufficient for me and my survival in the world, and what it would be like to have to take a more difficult choice and stick with my life now. which would do me more good? which would do my life more good? will i keep having the emotional tantrums that i throw inside me? all these, i dont know.

i feel that i can get things very easily. because more than often, i do get things easily. -money, pretty things, whatever i want, and wish for. but when i get them, i chuck them aside. and these led to my extremely bad habit of taking things for granted all the time. yet i didnt realise the importance of treasuring people around me, and that is why many times, i end up losing very important figures in my life.

is this a result in having great friends and family members who give in to me? is this the result of being loved? is this the result of being spoilt and thus, being spoilt and unappreciative? in my point of view, yes.

if this is self criticism, then so be it. i think i need it. because the only times i get criticisms is when i face hy, and as always, she's ignored when she gets overbroad with her powerful language.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-08-13T03:46:00.000-07:00

i am so very sorry, Nicole. your Valerie has confronted me in the most unnerving way and i am scared out of my wits. i was meowded at because i talked about your inconsiderate behaviour that disturbed me directly. will you please tell her highness who sailed pass the moon to spare me and that i am so very apologetic for talking about her most precious and the people whom she still needs to mix with get fame from. please tell her majesty that i wont dare to meow at her most precious being anymore. thank you. may i ask a question? no offense, but are you her highness's pet?

this isnt an offensive message. nor is it meant to be offensive. anyway, are you satisfied now VALERIE? now i know why no one wants to get into nicole's way. they might get slapped by the Queen. pardon me, but i have another question. do you have to pay protection fees?

is it not being a demanding brat to reproach me for rebuking at people who disturbed my peace? i'm sorry Miss Lee. i've forgotten how to spell JUSTICE.

its a cool day at milky way. dont know what it is? its a place where people are so busybody that they cant help it but poke into everyone's business. or is it just you?

cheer up deb. i know you had worst =(

i am vindictive.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty told was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of youI've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
i have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that Mac can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm in stupid
I used to be so cute to meJ
ust a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I can't believe I'm trippin'

i love this song =)

and thanks deb
really

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

this is annoying. a *sailormoon creature tagged maria's board who criticised me as demanding. well, she didnt know the situation at all did she? obviously not. i was accused of being unreasonable. but in the first place, how was i being unreasonable? if i simply say on my blog that you sailed to the moon, left your common sense there, returned as a bitch who stole your best friend's boyfriend and just sent me an email telling me that you wanna marry debbie, it would be unreasonable for you say that you didnt say or do anything like that, is it? apparently, in your opinion as you have shown in your vexatious childishness and conclusion jumping, it is. for your information, all those that i wrote was before i saw what maria replied. like maria said, there's a limit to everything. including being stupid. seriously.
and miss maggie lee said that its A LOT. not ALOT. it all lies up there* doesnt it? if you lack what it takes up there*, you lack the most important thing of life X) you need some intelligence to live you know. seriously. =) bless you.

i flooded maria's tagboard. sorry man, i just hate being accused. chill man. i cant be bothered. maybe later, but not now. okay. my cousin just told me something that cracked me up. its really funny.

yuan please?

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-09T23:56:00.000-07:00

i've fallen ill. lets pray.

chilled.

boiling water is always hot. beware.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-08T02:01:00.000-07:00

it doesn't matter anymore. i feel nothing about it; i'm numb about the situation. it doesnt affect me anymore; you aren't any concern of mine anymore. you lead your own life, while i lead mine. and that's that. i shalln't deny that the memories were sweet and nice, but after all you've done, you dont deserve anything much.

i wonder how Andrew's doing now.

debbie is an evil brat. she attempted to blind me with her very bright font colour and drowned me in misery in exchange for her delightment in gaming, as the royal villian calls it. anna followed her footsteps and turned equally demonic. maybe they often use the royal comb to comb their hair. that is why the effect is so outstanding.

i met up with claudine today to photocopy my geography stuff, and the man made us wait for half an hour. now that i've gotten my notes, i dont know where to start revising. i guess i'm feeling lethargic. saw a doctor and he prescribed me with some Beauty And The Beast. yay! its time for medication =)

are you the beautifullest peoples in this worlds?

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-07T03:02:00.000-07:00

if you think you've been irritated by the most vicious noise pollutants in the world, think again.

i went to school early in the morning to study with claudine and sock lin. the morning breeze blew gently and there was so much peace, till a disorderly unharmonious group came. they were screeching at the top of their already unpleasant-for-the-ears-voices, running after a shoe. oh well. do not misunderstand. they are not trying to seek attention from anyone - the canteen was almost vacant and whats more, this isn't the first time they're this wild. sharon was with them, but of course, sharon was much more considerate than anyone of them and didn't make much noise. maybe she was the only one in that group who has the common sense to tell that they shouldnt make noise when people are studying. just like monkeys dont know that its wrong to snatch bananas from people. but monkeys have enough sense to not scratch anyone unless under provocation right? so how shall we describe this bunch of boisterous people? may i say that in this case, its all in the mind? if i were them, i'd go for lunch and ask for a plate of common sense.
well, if you get what that means. and yes, you'd definately lose if you are trying out for the Anti Noise Pollution Award.

no offence man. but their awfully offensively loud behaviour has barred me from much work that had to be done and so naturally, it antagonized me very much.

went home with claudine. had quite some fun today.

she's on her way back now. and i've not spoken much to her at all. i said 'i dont care, for she doesnt mean much to me.' but is that really true? did i really mean what i said? of course not. i'd be inhuman to say that. she always meant something to me, though i never said anything to her. i'd always wanted to be on good terms with her, though we often quarrelled. i wish now that you'll stay longer. and you too. because i miss you, and i know i will, in the days to come. i'm sorry for all that i've done. but deep down i have always, will always and still love you.

hy : i've thought it through. there's nothing to hold onto anymore. because there isn't anymore meaning and obviously, no purpose. there's nothing to be concern over, since i've waited for so long. esp when i'm a man of no patience. its like waiting for snow to fall in Hong Kong or anticipating spring in the North Pole. now, i'm as free as a bird with part of my burden gone. yes, burden. and no, you've got it all wrong. its that they are stupid.

claudine : above is my summary of the day that i promised you =)

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-06T04:39:00.000-07:00

i am a meow man walking. i've just realised how much lit i've to do. here i am, searching for poems in desperation. 'working in the moonlight shadows.' thats what i'm doing.

national day celebrations today. had a really bad morning. afternoon was quite alright.

i got scolded for rejecting the idea of dining with an old lady. why .

i have got nothing to blog about. too tired to think. my eyes are closing. the radiation from the computer is killing me.

goodnight world.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-05T03:34:00.000-07:00

'there can be miracles, when you believe'
but will there be a miracle if i believe that i will pass my amath test?

i just remembered that i have tons of work today, but i spent the whole afternoon resting, thinking that i have none. i hate to use the word slack. it sounds like as though i'm very lazy, especially now that i'm trying to influence myself not to be.

patrick was being totally funny during math period. he was really nice today. well, at least he talked to me. aha. it totally made me happy. like as though he hasnt lost all hope in me. she's right; like she has always been. school was quite boring today. i was really offended okay, clarissa wee. but nevermind, i'm not petty. anyway, i've learnt something today.
-) to get inverse, i must (-) not (+). there goes my 5 marks. i am so totally angry with myself.

i'm going out tonight, with my lit work undone. 10 poems, 1000 words essay. may i have a miracle now? but 'God' in Bruce Almighty said 'there are no miracles. be the miracle'

yitian will be totally fascinated with her birthday present, because i'm feeling so excited about giving it to her =)

i love green.

kwan : in life, when we take, we have to give isnt it? why give up something you never thought you ever would and in the end take in nothing but the purest of pain? why choose to live without something you seriously miss and want in your life? why do you want to leave a hole in your heart and fill it up with nothing but regrets after you leave? dont you wanna join us on court, on training ground and do eric and hy proud? he's waiting. she's waiting. they are all waiting. the last thing we should do is to let down mr eric isnt it? please reconsider. he'll be more than happy to hear that you'll change, for the game.

valerie : if you have heard the voice message please tag.

hy : if you do not give it to me tomorrow i will smack anna. and today, i have a 47. aha.

debbie:
Fairy Godmother
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-booPut 'em together and what have you gotbibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-booIt'll do magic believe it or notbibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Salagadoola means mechicka boolerooBut the thingmabob that does the job isbibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Salagadoola menchicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-booPut 'em together and what have you gotbibbidi-bobbidi bibbidi-bobbidi bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-04T03:16:00.000-07:00

im feeling blue today.

is it friday yet?

i am quite satisfied with myself today, though i was late for chinese. maths was all about graphs again. i was striking off my many 5 mins as usual. english was fun. i kept laughing and somehow, laughing kept me awake. didnt Reader's Digest say that laughter is the best medicine? it undoubtedly is.
i realised that i was the only one in class who haven't done my draft so i went up to miss lee for marking. she looked at my script, handed me a ruler and a pen and said ' how do i keep an untidy girl neat? ' maybe she was trying to save trouble, (which i think not because in my point of view, it was because my work is too perfect) she gave me a tick and told me to go ahead with my speech. after some time, she came to our table when adele asked her a question. then there was this arguement about who was the prime minister before Lee Kwan Yew or something similar that is very much political. i was thinking and suddenly i just said ' sung nila utama*? ' she reacted in a very funny manner. upon reflecting on english lessons now, i simply cant stop laughing. it may not seem funny. but like anna said, some jokes are funny only if you are present. like the pamela and her mr kai one, the yiyan and her laabradoor one.
last lesson when i was doing my draft, i wanted to know what another word for peserverance is.
me : miss lee, is another word for peserverance, preservatives?
miss lee : ----------------
the ---------------- means nothing. there was no reply. she was too loss for words, too deeply engaged in laughter.

joanne and zhenyi did the silliest thing today. i cant help but sigh, because i seem to be reminded of my silly past too.

kim and i were on the bus and we met Qian Ru and her two friends. kim started being mean and happily teased Qian Ru and company. but she doesnt mean it, so dont take it to heart. she's just like that, like Qian Ru's habit to have to make noise all the time. seriously, how much joy do you find in contributing to noise pollution? aha. meowded. dont take it to heart okay, whoever kim teased.

amath and emath test tomorrow. how very saddening.

this is a stupid entry. i dont even know what i'm typing.

hy: please remember to bring the most important thing on earth. it is very crucial as it concerns my happiness for the whole of next week. and this is something that will interest you very much. i shot during recess. yesterday, i had 39/100. today, i have 42/100. one day, it'll be 75/100 =)

maria : sorry man. i am so very much embarassed now.

zhenyi and joanne : you have all my empathy.

i asked my cousin : what do you think feeling blue means?
look at what she said : i think it means feeling a little, erm, green.
oh boy! she sure did cracked me up.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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2004-08-03T02:17:00.000-07:00

lets purple today.

it is indeed very sad that my attempt has failed again - i was late for physics class today, while yesterday it was lit. how very disparaging.

my day started off well. i finally handed in my chinese book. during assembly, some councillors were totally meowing at the bballers - whether they sang the anthen, and then proceeding to talk about Anna's uniform. well, it is not invisible that Anna is awfully untidy is it? meowded. at least i'm neat in the morning. claudine can justify to that statement. aha. lets all try to be good, like me =) amath lesson was a meow. it just so happens that i hate graphs. during recess, i recieved yuan's letter, to my delight. i was talking to zhenyi half way and judy started laughing at me. and till now, judy, i have no idea what you were laughing about. after recess, i spent the rest of my day counting off time using kim's stopwatch, which dara seems to feel attached to. there was amath remedial after school. i got all my work right, with guidance of course. to bring justice to the entire human race, i feel that there is a need to award myself with some food. now that i've rested enough, i am gonna start on amath again. too bad he's giving another math test on thursday. i must pass, or i'll hang debbie upside down on the basketball post.

is this pink? it bears an uncanny resemblance to shiyun's ____ i saw the other day. you know? the ____ she's always not wearing properly. aha. chill girl.

gwen wee : thanks for the $0.55 man. it saved me a little bit.

claudine : correction. Mansfield Park is by Jane Austen, not Charlotte Bronte.

hy : i'm starting to feel attached to them - the ones i used to detest at the starting of the year.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
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you.

2004-08-02T04:47:00.000-07:00

my first attempt to stay out of trouble has more or less failed - miss lee thought i was loitering around when actually i was looking for tissue. i asked for permission, along with clare. =( i'll try harder then. lets start anew tomorrow.

my phone is not with me now, so please do not message or call either numbers. thank you for your very kind attention. it is very much appreciated. so there. meow now.

you:
it suddenly dawned on me that you do not miss what you said you missed. you are probably happily drowned in the mass of attention you are getting now, so much so you have became what you are, who you are, the exact person you are, whom you were not. there is no unfriendliness in what i said, for i am merely stating what i have in mind. yes, i said i'll be there. i said im waiting to see the old you back. but apparently, you wont be coming back. the real you, that is. i've wanted to be there for you when you need a break from your superficiality, your hypocritical world and circle of friends. but now i really see no need to, is there? for you seem to be enjoying yourself upon the pain that is brought onto many others.
you dont know how many things that were so precious to you have slipped past, now that you are such a you. you used to assume that you are of less importance to others, but i assured you that that's not true, till now, it remains only as your assumption. will you ever wake up, return, and learn to treasure? i certainly feel that you cannot answer that question, because you are too lost in happiness and elation with your certain circle of artificial friends, your hypocritical world, and your artificial self.
you amaze me by the way you can lie to me with your eyes wide open. were those all lies? please clearify if they isnt. whatever it is, whether you take in what i said or not, these are my plain, humble opinions about what i think of you now. as i said, clearify if they arent true. i'll be sorry if i'm wrong.

PS: pardon the bluntness of my usage of words if they seem offensive, although they are used only after much selection and consideration.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04.'05__
____theMe&YouForever._______

cabbage soup.

2004-07-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

had a raw dinner. my day was quite alright. went to school, studied, and so on. seriously, i miss being on court. i miss playing ball. i miss getting told that i'm doing good, doing the right thing, my rightful stuff. i miss my 'unbreakable' defense. is it all too late? am i being silly, wasting time sitting down here reminiscing, thinking of the perfect past? everything was so perfect. was.

i'm trying to not think about everything. i'm trying to be as happy as i can be, esp when i'm with you. i know that you're stressed and everything, that you are as upset as i am. but must it be like this? i'm sorry i was terribly demanding and unreasonable.

test of IQ

: a man running in front of a car gets tired. a man running behind a car gets exhausted.

: there was a warrior fighting with his enemy. when his arms got cut off, he didnt give up and continued fighting through biting, until he got defeated.

get it?

i kept thinking that this coming monday and tuesday are school holidays and that kept me rather cheerful the whole day, till debbie dampened my mood with the most destructive news ever. boy! how meowdedly wrong i was.

debbie: till the one fine day comes. remember to bring the stuff we brought okay. i cant wait for one of the most contented moments of my life to come. till then, chill.

you: umiosysi

claudine: i'm starting on Mansfield Park by the same author as Jane Eyre now. its rather nice. i watched the show. you should read it, since you delight in silly lovey stories while i favour the wonderful way of writing.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-07-30T04:36:00.000-07:00

had an equally bad day as the day before. smiling is out of question. i'm sorry miss mak. i simply couldnt control my emotions. i was trying to stop my tears from running free. i got rather shocked, because no one but hy told me those before. now i know why. how meowded. sth happened. endless gratitude is flowing in my veins.
'accept things graciously, as it is' 'make the best out of situations' thats the exact thing i'm trying to do. i know there's no point weeping, for what done is done. but somehow, i'm just pricked. things between me and him are getting no where near okay. there's too much to bear. i've to face him everyday, yet feel all upset inside over this already strained relation. everything's so emotionally draining and energy consuming. lamentation seems to be an everyday affair

you : thank you for your bitter sacarsm. it wet my day.

kwan : thanks for all the support you've been giving and all the nice things you do all the time to cheer me up. i still remember, keep and look at the card all the time and smile at all the memories we shared. i guess i'm okay.

hy : please dont scream at me the next time you see me. i'll be feeling really shitty. if you really need to, then dont speak to me just yet. may you happily ever after with your fav colour. enjoy staring.

my eyes are hurting due to excess crying and my head is in pain. all my efforts have gone down the drain.
nothing really matters much anymore. i'm numb.

____everything was nothing___
________________ but a mere dream__________
________sheer fantasy________

2004-07-29T02:09:00.000-07:00

a rather tiring day. extremely tiring, i'd say. it all started again, during recess. either jo or agnes were shooting, and i was theone who got into shit, again. why do i always have to be the one who gets into trouble when the starting point of everything isnt me? this is the second time isnt it? is that life?

i suspect kwan possess a highly sophisticated arsenal of physical terrorist tactics, while hy possess the emotional kinds. she's always trying to make me feel guilty, while kwan is always thinking of killing people. how meowded. and now addy thinks she's sexy. she tried to show off her legs to me during english class while miss lee thought i went nuts about jingle bell. totally hilarious.

she isnt who i used to know. or is this her real self? i certainly dont know. it probably isnt much of my concern. actually, it really isnt. she can be who she wants to be, what she wants to be.it is likely that i've been or i am being over sensitive, but both kim and i share the same thinking. maybe she's getting arrogant now that she's one of the main players, but isnt that so because there isnt enough players? i could be wrong though. i am aware of my own attitude i give, but i'm trying to change. but her change is immensely noticeable. the difference is probably bigger that an elephant, longer than Red Sea. we all think that she's getting rather attention seeking. this happened before, but its not gonna provoke me this time. because i shallnt bother nor care since the dispensable rudeness is always there. there isnt much meaning in helping is there? because all you get in return is some huge bit of considerably striking and intense attitude problem. being skillful and being of high position doesnt give you the priviledge to be an enormous ball of meowded meow. your change in personality makes us feel unfamiliar and reluctant to speak to you. actually, treating you like before is indeed beyond question. you are such an attention seeker now. and yes, i am very much exasperated and annoyed by you being overly decisive, making independent decisions or bilateral agreements that involves a whole group of people. it is genuinely antagonizing, you olympic class impersonate.

thanks gemm kwan fei pauline yenyen claudine debbie anna for consoling me. and special thanks to joanne koh for the hit on my head.
and of course, motherbird still rocks. and so does mr sng.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

2004-07-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

got into some silly trouble that was totally unnecessary. and now i'm a
meow man walking.

i gotta start mugging really hard so i probably wont be blogging much.

pamela was really funny the other day. check this out

: who is taking us for remedial? miss ng huh?

me : huh? no.

pam : oh. mr kai huh.

get the joke? it made me laugh for days.

yitian : you left me worried sick man. i dont know what happened, but
you know i'm behind you all the way. please take care. i was left in a
stupor when i heard that __________. so there .

i love our Stc Basketball Team

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

bloody.hell

2004-07-27T03:35:00.000-07:00

today is probably one of the most dragging days of my life.
it started off with me going to school, getting irritated. and
when i was further provoked, i became rather rude. happily,
this councillor just had to come and blah at me, and i blasted
a little. and so on. was in the worst of moods all day, so i
spoke little. and now it has to start all over again. damn it.
and here comes blasting. what bloody.hell

anna : stop making your own decisions and taking things
into your own hands.

but ____________. thats how it feels, when i'm missing
you. i'm sorry.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

heading for tomorrow.

2004-07-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

fri : racial harmony night

being tall doesnt give you the priviledge to be inconsiderate. really.
we were watching the show on the netball court, and there was this whole group of track girls being really inconsiderate. we probably told them ten thousand times nicely to move and not crowd there, but maybe tall people have long legs and are a little slow because the message have to transfer from their toes to their brains? correction. because neither sharon nor lam is that slow, to that extent. or were those group of plain ignorant and god-knows-what trackers who simply had to block the whole world just being irritating? was that a form of attention seeking? if it is, then its really disgusting. seriously, were they doing that on purpose? or were they really so absent minded and kept forgetting to move even after we told them ten over thousand times? oh man. how pathetically sad. to think that anyone can be more forgetful than debbie. in that case, you all have my blessings. so, to hell with you.

fei zhen and maria were there too, but fei was the only one who was nice enough to tell them to stop being irritants, apparently, to no avail. maria was just too lazy to get up, as usual. meowded.

hy and geraldine wore indian costumes. motherbird seem to be trying to disguise herself
into someone, or rather, something more sight-loving. but still, we could recognise you. therefore, i can conclude that you wore the wrong thing. if you wore all black, your disguise would have succeeded. you know why.

the walk was sickening. i had to walk 10km without knowing why i had to walk that far. at least i got to pass some food stalls on the way. oh how consoling. night celebrations were fun, but lin and zhenyi were crying. and i got real upset too. the details are too traumatising. so lets spare it. got home and fell asleep right away.

Debbie: your wallet's with me.

lin and zhenyi : chill people. to hell with that piece of crap.

today : saturday

i've been blasted with the most thought-provoking news. accounts test tomorrow. what the meow.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

meow.

2004-07-20T02:24:00.000-07:00

today was a sickening day. and i really mean sickening. feel kinda
guilty man. was supposed to go home with debbie and joanne but
in the end when i was doing something, chess came and joanne
happily left with her, along with debbie. anna was there too. then me
anna and kim took the same bus. but suddenly dont know where
anna disappeared to. meowded. i thought jo was supposed to train?
how cool.
i'm getting irritated with myself and my temper. maybe i really am
kinda temperamental. its just that, skies are dark and its time for rain.
and thats probably why the grass is green. i just remembered one of
fel's crap. check this out : if you wanna know, i dont wanna tell you.
okay. back to the topic. i cant remember what i wanna say anymore.
i'm just a little sick of myself. and yes addy, i've got macrophobia.
on debbie's blog. the blog song is driving me crazy.

In the shadows, its somewhere i belong. i'm getting numb, being everybody's
fool. say it isnt so. say you change your mind now. that i am only dreaming.
I truely madly deeply believe that i'm going to the mood and back, yesterday
once more. i know this is rubbish. but opps i did it again.

i totally have a whole pile of work waiting.

hy says addy has a sissy voice. and she has no choice even though she hates to call her or dial her number but it is inevitable because her number is the first in her phonebook. therefore she detest her name so she'll change it to sissy ass. and that she is influenced by gay tchers so she should avoid them.

chill addy. i was told to do it on strict orders by The One.

shut up. just tell me where is the love. 'cause i wanna feel the thunder, i wanna scream.

i love our STC Basketball Team.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______

moo moo.

2004-07-18T01:54:00.000-07:00

happy birthday Qian Ru and Anna

guess what i heard. there's this IJTP girl tagged deb's blog and talked a whole lot
of shit, and they went to school telling the IJTP people that they lost to SC 20+ to
30+. what total crap shit. i was wondering how come IJTP's C div and B div's standard
is so totally different. but now i discovered that their attitude suck too. c'mon man.
if you lost, means you lost. why bother to be a sour grape and be irritating. you'll
get germs in your teeth and it'll turn yellow man. stop being a sore loser. you sore
loser.

yupp. that was the message for that moo moo siao who tagged debbie's blog.
anyway. the new blogger thing is a little dumb. i'm like typing big big words which
will turn out small. what the meow. i've got nothing to update about. my life's like a
water surface without ripples, because the rain havent come and the wind isnt
blowing.

has anyone seen the muffin man? well, if you have, then please let the rain fall down and wake my dreams, when i say nothing at all. because the three blind mice are getting too serious too soon. lets swear it again, before it gets too fast too furious. if i let you go, please fly by cuz it matters to me. i'll go to the moon and back. i promise. for its there you'll be. you jump, i jump. so lets bibbidi bobbidi boo. or it'll happen to anyone of us, everytime, when i'm missing you with my two front teeth. therefore, stop telling me to smile with a tear in my eye.

it doesnt makes sense. its called sudden inspiration. sth out of da ordinary ( check our chatlog, hy )

claudine : is this big enough?

i love our STC Basketball Team. lets gay a little while. purple stinks.

theUs.stcbasketball03'always.__
____theThem.stcbasketball'04_______
______theWe.stcbasketball'03.'04__
____theMe&YouForever._______